Portrait of a Shattered Woman
by Kyra1
Summary: Faye, Spike and the unrelenting reflection in the mirror, because it hurts most when you can’t see who you are. She’s less than herself and he’s more than a memory.
1. Prologue: Misguided Rose

Umm this is my first CB fic, but not my first fic. Usually I write GW fanfiction but I decided to write something different for a change. This kinda came to me in the middle of the night so I'm not sure where it's going, but here it is anyways.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Prologue  
Misguided Rose  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The woman stared up at the vengeful clouds. The gray slabs loathed the sunlight and struggled to slay the golden rays, while mocking the world below.   
  
  
  
  
  
Her eyes narrowed in attempt to block out the rain that splattered across her face. The raindrops would slip through the cloud's fingers, idly spiraling downward in a dance to crash atop her face. The woman's eyes closed and her lips tinged upward almost into a smile. She loved the rain. It reminded her of herself. No control over where it went, or even how it got there. It was just pulled along.  
  
  
  
The half smile faded back into an impassive expression as the rain hardened, slapping her back to reality.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
The woman meandered along the sidewalk, her boots causing ripples within each puddle that didn't splash further up onto her exposed legs. Most people wouldn't dare to venture out in such rain, but those that were hurrying down the streets were wearing pants or carrying an umbrella unlike the woman. Her black shorts and hunter green tank under a navy blue trench coat allowed her to blend unnoticed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Unnoticed. She preferred it to be that way. Sixteen months ago she would have rather pranced around in bright yellows drawing as much attention to herself as possible, but now it was different. It almost made her laugh. That was how it was with her these days.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jade eyes flicked towards the people passing by. The woman's purple hair was plastered to her face making it difficult, but she studied those around her with such surreptitiousness that to them she was busy thinking of more important matters than the world around her.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
A middle-aged woman was reprimanding her teenage daughter for walking out in the middle of their conversation. "Family doesn't just walk away! We listen to each other and care what the other person has to say! We don't just care about ourselves! This is a family!"  
  
  
  
  
  
It doesn't huh? Skills that had been built from stone and honed to perfection had been prepared. The sorrow, anger, and confusion that should have ensued were replaced with a numbness before they could even reach the surface, leaving her in anticipation of something that would never come.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
The rain continued its torrent of rage as her lolled backwards once again. Millions of tiny liquid drops seemed to slow as something flicked through memory's shadows. She nudged herself into the shadows to search for the disturbance as the rain was dismissed.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Smoke filled her nostrils from somewhere unseen. The meaningless clicking of a keyboard formed from the resonation of the rain. The sounds of a vid screen running unwatched echoed through the air taking her back. Someone was trying to muffle the sounds of their sobs.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Somewhere within the fog she could see a young red head desperately trying to fall between the cushions of the sofa as her tears streamed down her cheeks. Ed had noticed her eyes on her and began to type furiously at her computer in attempts to bring her mind away from the fallen.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The woman's memory shifted as a largely built man stepped out of the kitchen. She had been sitting next to the window staring out blankly at the endless expanse. He studied her before speaking "Even now your heartless, huh?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She didn't even blink. The woman continued to stare out the window as the man continued on. "He's gone and all you can do is just sit there? You're not gonna cry? Are you really this cold?" Jet paused as if waiting for an answer, and when the man never received one his hands had grasped her shoulders shaking her. "Do you even hear me? Hell he can't even save your lazy ass anymore!"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
She could remember staring at him for a moment, but she couldn't even begin to recognize the feelings that his words caused. Hell, she couldn't even remember what emotions felt like anymore.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Lightning lit up the sky as her cheek twinged. The man had slapped her across the face hoping to get a response, but all she could do was stare at him. She had stared at the man who at once she thought of as a father, and he had hit her.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
There was a brief lapse of memory, but the next image to harass her was one of the young girl holding on to her arm. "Why not cry for Spike-person? Glad he's dead?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
The child had clutched her arm hoping for reassurance, but all the woman could do was scream at her. "I never said I was glad he's dead! You're putting words in my mouth! Why the hell do you always bother me! Go bother someone else for a change!" Ed had recoiled on to the couch, tears threatening to spill over once again. She had overreacted.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jet hated her, and then Ed hated her. Hell even the damn dog hated her. When she had turned to walk away Ein leapt to her ankle sending a spark of pain along her nerves. Now the only feelings she could ever remember were that of physical agony.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She had never shed a tear for Spike Spiegal. She wasn't sure why, but somewhere within her she had a tiny feeling that he wasn't dead. Although she didn't care if he was alive. The woman didn't cry. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't cry.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
The woman blinked, gazing around the flooded streets as people hurried by unaware of the monster amongst them. A monster. That's all she could be classified as. Her days as a bounty hunter ended abruptly along with her family and humanity so long ago. Now she had turned into a mercenary taking whatever jobs anyone was willing to give her, most of which were assassinating someone.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Her feet continued the motion they knew all too well. They carried her down the watery streets as her mind was elsewhere.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Once a few months back on a mission she decided to accept, the child of the man she had killed sat crying over her father's unmoving body. The tear stained eyes didn't move from her father but the quivering voice spoke more than words could ever explain. "You monster. How did it feel when you killed him? How did it feel?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She never answered the girl but even now she knew the answer. She didn't. She didn't feel anything anymore. Bits and pieces here and there that managed to slip through the cracks in her walls that she had built, but nothing solid enough to force a reaction.   
  
  
  
  
  
The woman she had once been had folded in on herself being covered by the emptiness. It made it easier that way. Her lips twinged upwards in a feral smile. She had commit mental suicide. There was little to nothing left of the woman she once was.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She forced her thoughts to return to the streets where water splashed against her boots. A hand reached up pulling her trench coat higher on her slender shoulders, relishing the warmth that it provided from the cold rain.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
An item on display in a store window to her right caught her attention. Before she had a chance to look the item over, her eyes met gaze with two jade eyes. The woman stared at the reflection of herself in mirror behind the items. The navy blue coat that reached her ankles was an enormous contrast to her pale skin. The darkness of the coat seemed to fade her skin to an even lighter color than normal. Black hair was matted to her face in clumps. Her lean body had grown slightly more muscular than in the past, and her face was more severe. The features seemed lifeless. Her eyes were empty. She had once heard the eyes were a portal into one's soul. The two green orbs were hollow objects. They were soulless. She was soulless.  
  
  
  
  
She was a misguided rose.   
  
  
  
  
The woman couldn't remember where she had heard that term used before, but she guessed that it implied to her. The only time she allowed herself to bloom and trust, she had opened just in time for winter. She had been Shunned.  
  
  
  
  
A sigh escaped her lips as she pivoted back to face the people passing her. It didn't matter to her what her eyes showed. She didn't care wether or not she had lost all emotions.  
  
  
  
  
She liked what she had become.  
  
  
  
  
In an uncaring corner of the world she stepped back into the rain, smiling faintly at the thought of what she had become. She was a soulless monster.  
  
  
  
  
She was Faye Valentine.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Umm well what do you think? I'm not sure if I'm gonna turn this into a FayexSpike or not. I'm kinda just gonna let it write itself. The more reviews the faster I write. ^_^ Okay...maybe I shouldn't try to talk you into it but still. Anyways sorry I'm such a terrible author, but I'm trying and that's all that counts. Well until next time! 


	2. Child of Darkness

DISCLAIMER: No I don't own the characters or the show, I'm not kewl enough to own it, I just act like I am. If you wanna sue me, all you'll get is about ten dollars cause right now that's about all I've got.  
  
  
  
  
Hey I wrote another chapter!!! I'm not very happy with it so it may be revised. Anyways thanks for the support. I'm gonna try and have a chapter a week at the least. Oh and I decided on wether or not it'll be a FayexSpike and guess what? You'll just have to wait and find out! :P Anyways, on with the fic!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
Child of Darkness  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Goodbye.  
  
  
  
  
  
The sun turned away from the sky like a blushing maid. Her golden locks swirling outward to converge with the outstretched hands of the sky. Fire followed each brief caress taking hold of the tresses to trail outstretched in hail of the goddess as she fled.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye stared blankly out from within the glass elevator at the gold and scarlet sunset. She knew that if she listened closely enough, she could hear the soft echo of its laughter.   
The laughter would continue into nightfall when the moon Callisto was hovering over head. Then in the hours of twilight just before dawn the phantom would return.   
  
  
  
  
  
It was a transformation that she claimed every night. No longer would she blend within the crowds along the streets or fade into the background of any room. Nighttime was her dominion. Unlike some mercenaries who chose to work whenever they saw fit, Faye waited until the sun had lowered itself from the heavens to pursue her prey.  
  
  
  
  
  
The elevator lurched back into motion sending its contents reeling. The black haired woman snorted in discomfort as she thrust her hands into her coat pockets in an endeavor to persuade those who just entered that she was innocuous.   
  
  
  
  
  
One man scrutinized her momentarily before pivoting to watch the floor numbers light up as the elevator ascended.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye returned her gaze to the colors smearing together in the sky. A slender hand lifted to delicately rearrange a strand of hair behind her ear, reinforcing her image of innocence. The tresses had grown softer since she had quit covering them with the deep shade of purple.  
  
  
  
  
  
The elevator slowed to a halt and the huge silver doors opened. Three men including the most recent arrival took the moment to get off.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Forty. The floor light was only on forty.  
  
  
  
  
Now alone she leaned against the glass in contemplation. It appeared as though the personnel only extended to the fortieth floor. Anyone that went above the fortieth floor   
needed an identification card or a special appointment. She had neither.   
  
  
  
  
Faye had returned to her hotel to discover that someone had been in search of her. Nothing had been stolen or even misplaced. The only evidence of entry was a note lying atop a fluffy pillow on her bed.   
  
  
  
  
The letter had an elaborate handwriting with misplaced flourishes which seemed quite odd for it to only state. "Come. Floor 49. Office 221. 7:30pm. Job for you." An address was listed on the bottom of the page.  
  
  
  
  
  
Someone had found her. Someone had actually been able to find her without having to leave messages in the hands of others to deliver to her.   
  
  
  
  
  
A sudden jolt pulled her attention back to the elevator lights.   
  
  
  
  
  
She had arrived.  
  
  
  
  
  
The room before her was enormous. Many light blue partitions jutted into the aisle creating cubicles that separated each desk from the one before it. Within one of the cubicles sat a well dressed employee who was typing frantically at a computer. The woman employee ignored Faye as she stepped into the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye's eyes located three offices adjacent to each other against the back wall. Without even having to urge her feet to move, they had already begun the walk to the offices.  
  
  
  
  
  
Upon arrival at the doors, she briefly wondered wether or not she was delivering herself to the devil. What was it that priests use to say? Was she walking through the valley of the shadow of death? Why was she mentioning a priest any ways?   
  
  
  
  
  
The rest of the room forgotten, her eyes rested on the numbers 221 embedded above the door. Whoever found her was waiting just inside for her to walk in. Faye knew that the office's location and the ability to find her meant that whoever it was had connections. He was on top of his game.  
  
  
  
  
  
Taking one last glance at the number, Faye pushed the door open, pulling it shut behind her.  
  
  
  
  
  
The office wasn't nearly as large as she had thought it was going to be. The square room was only large enough to fit a desk, some metal cabinets and two chairs for any visitors that may drop by.  
  
  
  
  
  
Seated behind the desk was a man with copper hair that appeared to have never seen a brush. The man was staring out the window with his back to her. His voice was scratchy, but it seemed to be able of hiding his emotions. "So I'm finally getting to meet the infamous Raven."  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye lifted her chin at the mention of her mercenary name. The media had stated that "the murderer swept down like a raven to take what it wanted and leave without anyone ever realizing". Now grown men would tremble at the mere mention of the Raven. She had found her respect.   
  
  
  
  
  
"I hear you come highly recommended." The man slowly turned his chair to face the renowned mercenary. His eyes were a deep green almost that of her own if it wasn't for the white smudges that appeared within.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The ebony haired woman crossed her arms as she spoke for the first time since entering the office. "Perhaps."   
  
  
  
  
  
The man's eyes widened after she had spoke. His gaze dropped to his hands and looked as though the man was blushing. The freckles that covered his face disappeared as his cheeks reddened. "You're the Raven and your...your..your..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"A woman?" Faye supplied for him. A smile threatened to split her lips, but it was quickly drained away.   
  
  
  
  
  
"Yes...um..sorry." His hands fumbled for a paper laying atop his desk. Once they had found it, his hands raised it towards her.   
  
  
  
  
Slender hands held the sheet with information as well as a picture while she slowly read the words. "His name is..."  
  
  
  
  
  
"I don't care who he is." Faye deadpanned while returning the paper. Something caused her to hold onto the picture. Jade eyes continuously studied the image, committing every detail to her memory.   
  
  
  
  
  
"Easier to deal with huh?"  
  
  
  
  
"Yeah. Something like that." Lie. She he wouldn't understand her reasoning if she was to explain to him. Faye started towards the door, but the sound of his voice caused her to glance back.  
  
  
  
  
"Kill him and the media will grab wind of it. Once I see it on tv, ten million woolong will be delivered to where your staying."  
  
  
  
  
Strange. He was still watching the spot where she had been. "Alright." Faye pushed the door open, her eyes catching and unconsciously reversing one word printed on the glass.  
  
  
  
  
Giles  
  
  
  
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She was the darkness. It wrapped around her as though she were its child that it was striving to protect. The mother guided her child by the hand into the crevices of safety. She followed always a step in its wake, however they moved as one.   
  
  
  
  
She could feel it breathing against her. Its warmth tickling the hairs on her neck into a state of awareness. The darkness always did that to her. At night she lived.   
  
  
  
  
Faye's eyes narrowed slightly to make out the distinct shape of the edge of the wall. Her feet easily closed the distance, leaving her with a strange but brief feeling that almost resembled that of disappointment. As quickly and abruptly as it had arrived, the feeling disappeared.   
  
  
  
  
Her toes curved under her feet clinging to the roof as she strained to peer over the edge. The drop to the balcony wasn't that far, but it was large enough to cause pain if she didn't land correctly. The Raven's jaw set in determination as her feet one after the other stepped off the building.   
  
  
  
  
  
The wind burned against her skin as she began to fall. Faye's skin paled in the midst of the beating. The ebony locks were barely visible in the night as they spread out behind her in the wind as if they were a flag.   
  
  
  
  
  
Her speed began to increase as she continued to fall. Her arms raised to her sides as if she expected to fly with them. The Raven was flightless. The feelings stirring inside her as she dropped intrigued her. Was that what happiness had felt like? Who was she kidding? Faye couldn't remember happiness, and she wouldn't remember that feeling in a few minutes.  
  
  
  
  
  
Her boots made rough contact with the metal balcony. Long well-toned legs bent to absorb the shock from the descent. One hand had found its way between her legs to the balcony in a effort to maintain balance as he trench coat lingered in the air, before gliding to the ground.  
  
  
  
  
  
Footsteps could be heard coming towards the balcony. Faye wasn't certain wether or not they had heard her landing, but either way it was time for her to act.  
  
  
  
  
  
Twin glass doors to the Raven's left opened from the middle. The man from the picture poked his head out from within the apartment, a baseball bat held firmly between his hands.   
  
  
  
  
  
Before he could even begin to react Faye had leapt from her kneeling position to send a forceful roundhouse kick into his stomach. The heels of her boots caused most of the harm as the surprised man was thrown backwards staggering in search of balance. It never came. He fell to his back on the carpet.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye stepped inside the apartment ignoring the room around her. Green eyes were focused intently on the man sprawled across the floor. She could remember every minute detail on his face down to the dimples.  
  
  
  
  
Reflexes took over unconsciously drawing her gun from the inside pocket of her coat. Faye had spent time perfecting her already marginal precision and accuracy, so that if rushed her shot wouldn't miss.   
  
  
  
  
The man began to lean up, the bat back in his hands. His charcoal eyes locked with hers as thunder broke the silence.   
  
  
  
  
  
Blood. A sticky liquid that no man ever wished to see in his life rolled down between his eyes like tears. The man's eyes widened in disbelief as his face contorted to that of pain, and his body slumped to the floor in an unnatural position.   
  
  
  
  
  
It had all happened within a second. One second had ended the man's life, and Faye could only stare with a distanced look in her eyes at the body.   
  
  
  
  
Movement in the shadows to her side brought Faye out of her removed state of mind.   
  
  
  
  
  
Someone else was there.  
  
  
  
  
  
A woman and she had seen Faye's face. She couldn't be allowed to live.  
  
  
  
  
  
The woman was clutching a gold ring in a panic. "You killed him! You bitch you killed him!" His wife was wearing a countenance of pure terror after watching her husband's murder in their home.   
  
  
  
  
  
The Raven turned to confront the woman. She had taken no more than three steps when the woman fell to her knees. Tears were streaking her swollen face. "Please don't kill me! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Please don't....don't...please!!!" The woman clutched Faye's hand desperately. "Don't kill me! I'll give you anything! Just please don't kill me!"  
  
  
  
  
Faye allowed herself to nod.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" The woman flew to her deceased husband's side. Sobs wracked her body as she clutched his hand in prayer that he would magically awaken to find her beside him.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye approached the woman who's back was now facing her. The gun slowly found its way to press against the red hair. The woman was dead instantly. There was no pain, and no fear.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
White curtain billowed in the evening wind, drawing the mercenary back out onto the balcony. The night air a chill against her fevered skin. Faye stood on the balcony her thoughts returning to woman lying in a puddle of her own blood within the apartment. She told the woman she would live, the fear had left her body and then she had killed her without the woman ever knowing. Perhaps she was turning soft.   
  
  
  
  
  
For the second time that evening, a brief feeling of disappointment swept through her body. It had been such an easy job. If it was going to be so easy, then why was the price so high?   
  
  
  
  
Faye closed her eyes as the wind caressed her face. Why did she care if the price was too high for such an easy target? It was her money now.   
  
  
  
  
  
Instincts spoke to her reporting to her that it was time to flee before the cops could arrive,   
but something caught her eye.   
  
  
  
  
  
The gray moon hung low in the sky, the shadows of her many craters adding to her wild majestic beauty. A light yellow ring circled Callisto.   
  
  
  
  
  
Trouble.  
  
  
  
  
  
A ring around the moon meant trouble. Odd. When did she start believing in superstitions? Faye shrugged inwardly at her thoughts of the moon. Whatever trouble was coming, she was prepared for it.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Okee whatdya think? I promise the next chapter is going to be the start of the good stuff. I just need this in for some minor reasons. Ummm I don't have much to say this time, so... uh how is everybody. *only hears crickets* okee....uh well bye bye! 


	3. A Fleeting Dream

okay I bet you guys thought I died or something didn't you? Well I'm alive and giving away free handouts! ^_^ *throws big pieces of salami* Okay so that was lame, but I got the point across that I'm back. This chapter was incredibly hard for me to write being that I just didn't know what to do. Thanks sooo much for all the support from you guys! It means so much to me! This chapter will probably be reloaded after a revise it. I'm not happy with the way it went, but it'll do for now. Can you tell I'm a perfectionist? Well here's the next chapter.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
A Fleeting Dream  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It always watched her sleep.   
  
  
  
  
  
Just like every morning it slipped into her room to brush a gentle hand across her face in a caress usually known only by lovers. Its golden rays roamed freely across the slumbering body, tickling her to consciousness.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye shifted underneath the sun's caresses. It's fingers trailed along her body sending a wave of heat through her veins.   
  
  
  
  
An eye flicked open revealing the jade orb within. It quickly narrowed in disgust as the light flooded it in a torrent of yellow streaks.   
  
  
  
  
  
Thin fingers inched the velvety blanket upward to tickle the crevices of her nose. A yawn forced its way free as the material was yanked from her nose to cover the rest of her face.   
  
  
  
  
  
It couldn't be morning already.   
  
  
  
  
A few minutes passed before the blanket was tossed away exposing herself to the sunlight. Eyes narrowed in defense as she surveyed the window. It was mornings like these when Faye felt that she could see every particle, every fiber of the light's existence. She could see the dust dancing within the golden rays as they squeezed through the blinds to land in long rectangles atop the bed in which she was draped across.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye abandoned the bed to open the blinds as another yawn found its way out. Outside the sun had replaced the clouds that had been covering the sky for the last few days. The gray puffs still marred the sky in splotches but they weren't enough to impede the day of its probable beauty.  
  
  
  
  
  
A smile broke through the morning dulled senses to play across her features. Faye stretched in welcoming to the sun that stroked her pale skin. The sun always felt wonderful. It was probably the last remaining constant in the universe. No matter what happened to a person or no matter how much things changed and were forgotten, it was the only thing that a person could always count on. Always.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
She turned away from the window in an attempt to rid herself of the smile and the thoughts that came with it. Faye's mind was clear of the thoughts on the universe's constants, but replaced with that of life. This was her life. The darkness, the emptiness, the....  
  
  
  
  
  
The ebony haired woman glanced around as she found herself in the bathroom. She had become a zombie. She had programmed herself to continue with life's functions even when she was occupied elsewhere. It made life easier. One foot in front of the other. Continue moving. Never stopping.   
  
  
  
  
  
Faye slid her shorts over her hips using her foot to toss the flannel material into a pile of old laundry. Her indigo tank was soon forgotten in the pile as steam filled the room. The temperature within the bathroom had already risen causing her skin to tingle in anticipation of the water. She needed the water to burn. She needed it just to know that she was still alive.   
  
  
  
  
  
Her head pressed against the wall as the steaming water rushed against her skin. She had led a crazy life. More nights would roll by with her known as the Raven. There were no longer any nights with dreams that could hold illusions of happiness. She wasn't even punished with dreams containing memories of misery anymore. There was nothing. Each night that had followed her transformation was dreamless.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Her muscles screamed in protest to the burning liquid that was being allowed access to her body. Nerves opened to the pain accepting it as an alcoholic allowing it to dull the senses. Fingers curled inward into fists.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
How long had she been standing there?   
  
  
  
  
  
Moments later Faye found herself wrapping a towel around her waist. She had done it again. Her mind had caved in on itself.   
  
  
  
  
  
She caught a glimpse of pinkened skin in the fogged over mirror as she exited the bathroom. Fingers glazed across the television screen relishing the cool beneath her fingers as they dragged over a switch. The meaningless babble of the tv echoed through the room as she retrieved an outfit from within a dresser.  
  
  
  
  
  
Two anchors sat chatting and exchanging fake smiles. The woman's smile faded. "In other news, two people were killed in their home early this morning. WNRC's Dana Mitchell is outside the scene covering the breaking news. Dana."  
  
  
  
  
  
A young woman stood in front of an apartment complex where officers and paramedics were hurrying about. "I'm here at the 'Star Gateway' building. As you can see behind me, there was a disturbance in one of the upper level rooms. A man and his wife were found murdered in their own home at approximately 3 a.m. this morning."  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye lowered herself to the edge of the bed, ignoring the water dripping from her hair. Her eyes were locked on the screen.   
  
  
  
  
  
"Neighbors phoned in to the lobby after hearing what could only be described as gunfire from within room 972. At this time the names of the victims are being withheld. Police have made no comment on the killer other than unconfirmed suspicions that it may have been the Raven."   
  
  
  
  
  
Water had begun to seep into the bed leaving the blanket sodden but Faye's eyes remained on the woman. The reporter was replaced with that of a severe featured man.   
  
  
  
  
  
His eyes bulged from their sockets, while his teeth were positioned in impossible angles. He was anything but attractive. "Yeah I was awoken by screaming in the room across the hall from mine." The man's looks weren't the only unattractive quality, but his voice contained a slow drawl. "It was kinda hard to make out what they was a sayin' but I could hear someone yellin' I hate you...you're gonna pay."  
  
  
  
  
  
Lie.   
  
  
  
  
  
Two things were wrong with his story, but the police would only discover one. One. If he was across the hall, then how could he understand the screaming at all? Two. There wasn't any screaming, but only Faye and the deceased would know that.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
A younger woman flashed onto the screen. Her eyes were wide with unshed tears as she rambled incoherently before calming. "This is definitely a shock. I mean you hear about things like this all the time, but nothing like this ever happens anywhere around here."  
  
  
  
  
  
She was naive. The girl had yet to be infected by the diseases of the world. Did she not realize that death was everywhere?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
"I had just returned from my night shift at work when I heard gunfire in the room next door." The new speaker was a man who's age was nearly impossible to determine because of the misplaced gray strands of hair in a sea of unruly darkness. "I could hear crying and more gunfire and more crying and then there was silence. I was so scared that I called the cops after that."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye readjusted the towel that hung around her. Something had stirred within the shadows of her mind. It was quickly pushed to a side, but not before she could identify the words it was mumbling.   
  
  
  
  
  
The words were lost as the interviews ended and Dana had reappeared. "As you can see the killings have many residents on edge. I was just informed that the police will be releasing the names of the victims later this evening. I will be back with more later as this story develops. Now back to you in the studio."   
  
  
  
  
  
Develops? News reporters were ignorant people. There was nothing left to develop. What did she think was going to happen?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The broadcast was left running unheard as Faye abandoned the bed for the bathroom, her questions forgotten.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
****************** ******************  
  
  
  
  
  
The glass door pushed open allowing a myriad of aromas to invade her nostrils in a torrent of unseen colors. Each color was different from the one before it. They would attach to the previous scent becoming lost in a new odor.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The room held a peculiar mixture of people. A couple was seated in the corner, their heads propped together as they exchanged silent words. A group of men were standing near the windows, emitting trouble as though it were cologne. A family sat laughing and exchanging jokes while the youngest child cried. It's tears faded into the bustling of the shop unable to escape the strangling of society only to become just one small sound in the midst of countless.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye eyed the line to the counter before finally falling into step behind two old crones. Moments later the women began to flap their arms in an elaborate endeavor to frighten the other. The two women seemed more like hens squabbling over the same kernel of   
corn than people.   
  
  
  
  
  
One old woman tapped her cane against the floor. "At your age you should know better than to cut in line!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"At my age!? Well I never! You're as old as me if a day!" The second white haired woman in a flower print dress squawked. "Besides I only reclaimed my place that you took from me!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The two women bickered amongst themselves as the line slowly moved forward. Neither was going to admit to the fault. Both claiming the other had stepped in front.   
  
  
  
  
  
The salesclerk sighed as the women continue to complain over who was first. "Excuse me." He shifted as though he half expected them to both lurch forward. "May I help someone?" His voice was filled with impatience as he watched with weary eyes at the spectacle before him.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Her eyes shifted between the elderly ladies. Neither had yet to notice the cashier's statement. Passing between the ladies in two brisk steps, Faye found herself at the counter placing her order. "One coffee. Black." She didn't glance over her shoulder, but she could feel their eyes against her back as they were trying to sort out what just happened.  
  
  
  
  
  
The clerk grinned , his charcoal eyes laughing at the two women who stood a few feet behind in a sheer state of perplexion. He handed Faye a coffee and accepted her money while still maintaining a lopsided smile.  
  
  
  
  
  
She turned to leave giving a sideways glance to the elderly women that had finally quieted. An eloquent eyebrow lifted at the women as the hot coffee burned its way down her throat. Both stared at her with eyes that had seen many things throughout their long lives. Neither had met Faye.  
  
  
  
  
  
Muffled screams could be heard from outside as the buildings contents crammed in front of the window to catch glimpse of a man sprinting passed. Faye thrust the door open, ignoring the scene that was unfolding. It didn't matter. Besides she could stand in the middle of the street screaming while wearing a sign that identified herself, and yet no one would ever notice her. It was something that she had worked hard for.   
  
  
  
  
  
Coffee spilt across herself as she was thrown backwards reeling for control only seconds after stepping outside. After a moment of flailing, she regained her balance to realize that her newly acquired drink was laying at her feet. She stared blankly at the white foam cup that rolled idly beside her boots. Jade eyes flicked from the puddle to her fingers that were covered with a brown steaming substance.   
  
  
  
  
  
They didn't hurt. There wasn't even a tingle within the fingers. Funny, now she was losing the ability to feel physical pain.  
  
  
  
  
  
Her eyes raised from her hands to the sky. The golden rays were only distant memory against her face. The pain. The warmth. It was becoming a fleeting dream.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Dammit! A man shouted between pants. "You caused him to get away!" There was a pause as the man gasped for breath, but only caused himself to cough. "Uh...well guess it was me...sorry I guess." He was obviously a man that rarely admitted his faults.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Faye!?" Her head remained in position as her eyes lowered to the man.   
  
  
  
  
  
She had been right.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike was alive.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"What the hell am I apologizing to you for? You think you're gonna get half the bounty don't you?" It was the same fuzzy green hair. The same cinnamon eyes. It was the same Spike. She waited for the hurt and anger. She waited for the confusion and happiness to flood her. It never came.   
  
  
  
  
  
"No." She pulled her navy blue trench coat closer, her fingers falling into the pockets.   
  
  
  
  
  
He shrugged obviously not aware of the circumstances for her disappearance. "Jet finally gets rid of you, and then him and Ed decide they want you back."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
They wanted her back? Why would they want that?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Do you know how hard it is to find you?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was that way for a reason.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"They've been looking for you for a long time." His eyes ran her over skeptically. "They said something about you being gone for nearly two years now, but I guess that means you actually made two weeks without eating up all the food."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yes. Nearly two years. It had been a long time.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Faye?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She blinked glancing around wildly, realizing that she hadn't spoken in quite awhile. "What?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
A cocky grin found its way to his lips as his hands lowered into his pockets in the position he usually held when discussing himself. "Are you mad at me?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She couldn't contain the snort that erupted from her lips before she replied. "Should I be?"   
  
  
  
  
  
Faye shifted underneath his gaze. Even a child could tell that he was picking up changes within her. "Well uh..." He rubbed the back of his head, unsure of how to continue. "Well I don't want you, but Jet's my friend and if he and Ed want you back, then I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't try to bring you back. You wanna just go somewhere and talk it over?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Her eyes trailed back to the ground where her cup lay in ruins. "I've already had coffee." She turned stepping into the crowd of people moving along the streets. Faye found herself disappearing as she walked amongst the group. Maybe she needed a change. Perhaps she could take some time off from being the Raven and allow the world time to forget her. Her feet slowed beneath her as she found herself turning to face Spike. "Well, are you coming?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sooo that's it for this chapter! Umm next chapter should be up soon, since I think I have some idea of what's going to happen. I've got an ending and a few ideas of events I want in the story and some subplots, but I'm in desperate need of some ideas. I don't know how to tie things in. Well, from what I'm planning this is probably going to turn into a very very long fic. I don't mean to, I just get way too detailed and it just gets longer and longer. Well..that's it for now. Next chapter "Fire and Ice" should be out shortly. 


	4. Wordless Sentences

Whew...I can't believe its been so long between chapters. Yes I probably should be beaten into a pancake, but please don't. *sniff* Now I feel like a hypocrite. I could give some excuses on why its been so long i.e. "My dog ate my laptop." or "They wouldn't allow me any sharp objects even to write with in the funny farm." and the even better "I joined the circus and began to work with the camels. I then took said circus, and began to plot out ways to take over the world, in which my camels would be able to run freely. My plan was spoiled, however, by a young camel of mine who refused to go through with ploy....he didn't wear his tutu." but then again, you wouldn't believe me. Which means, all I'm going to say is sorry, and here's the long awaited next chapter.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 3  
Wordless Sentences  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The liquid shifted tightening its grip on the thousand tiny diamonds that were caught within to slowly blurr their glory. The ripples shoved at the reflections, pushing them further into the darkness. Life was gradually being strangled away.  
  
  
  
  
Sunlight filtered into the glass sending the tiny sparkles splitting through the darkness. The diamonds danced through its outstretched fingers to gleefully celebrate their escape by waving to those around.  
  
  
  
  
A finger idly traced the rim of the glass, each gentle brush causing the liquid to ruffle.   
  
  
  
  
The sun had plowed through the clouds leaving them in confusion as to its whereabouts. However, the rays never met skin, but the warmth that it generated in the air was welcomed.   
  
  
  
  
The gentle westwinds nudged the umbrella, sending the yellow and orange fabric swaying. Faye's eyes lifted to the rustling material. Each breath of the wind brought the umbrella to motion as though it had only been asleep.  
  
  
  
  
A wooden fence separated the sidewalk from a piazza that was lined with small round tables. The restaurant had been modeled after an old style of street side cafe's that had been popular many years ago. It emitted a spark, a connection to the past that attracted many people in. Inside she could see many families as well as couples, but only one other table outside was taken.   
  
  
  
  
Faye returned her gaze to the ghost that was seated across from her. His body was twisted to a side as he reclined in his chair. A hand had disappeared somewhere behind the mass of green hair to prop his head up, while the other pressed a cigarette to his lips between sentences.   
  
  
  
  
Instead of a usual morning of emptiness and wandering the streets in her zombie-like life, a dead man now sat across from her recounting a tale of his reunion with the Bebop.   
  
  
  
  
  
"Yeah...I guess that's about it." He shifted, long legs stretching out beneath the table. "So.." Spike sent a crooked smile across the table as he watched her from the corner of his eyes. "What the hell have you been up to, that Ed couldn't find you?"  
  
  
  
  
Her eyes fixated on the air behind him. "Different things..." The finger found its way back to the rim of the glass. Instead of tracing it like before, the nail gently rapped against the rim causing a soft hum to enter the air. "Whatever's needed....just enough to get by."   
  
  
  
  
  
She watched him register her words, before his eyes locked on her finger. The humming ceased as she clasped her hands together atop the table. She had been careless, and he had read her lie. For a high enough bounty, Spike would turn her in. He would turn the Raven in. Faye knew she couldn't allow him to learn of her most recent doings.  
  
  
  
  
  
"A little work?" His entire head twisted to face her, and she knew he was beginning to suspect something. "Must've moved around a lot in those little jobs...every other day maybe?"   
  
  
  
  
  
No one could know who she was.  
  
  
  
  
  
An indifferent shrug shook her body as words fell from her lips. "Whatever the job needed...wherever it was."  
  
  
  
  
  
Not even Spike.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Preferably far away?" She watched him study her, gauging her reactions as though she were a patient in a mental institute. "Why'd you never contact them?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
In attempt to evaluate him in return, Faye met gaze with him for a moment. He was unreadable. His cinnamon eyes had severed themselves from his mind in an endeavor to keep her unaware of his suspicions. Eighteen months ago she would have answered him ignorant to his trick, but now it was different she was aware of it, and eighteen months ago she wouldn't have been having this conversation.   
  
  
  
  
  
The vision lock was broken, answers still unknown. "Independence."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He stared at her for an instant, before his face fell. Annoyance flooded the eyes that had been blank a moment before. "Bull shit."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The ebony haired woman shifted as silence leaned over her shoulders, his cold breath forming whispers in her ears. She shrugged him away, narrowing her eyes in her own effort to deceive, she forced her voice to sound annoyed. "What? You guys finally got rid of me just like you always wanted, and now you can't leave me be?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The annoyance still emitted from his chocolate eyes. "What happened?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The woman didn't answer. Her legs crossed in a facade of innocence as she sat silently awaiting an outbreak.   
  
  
  
  
It never came.  
  
  
  
  
  
Sitting upright in his chair, Spike leaned forward against the table as if the words he were about to speak were meant for her ears alone. The mischievous glint in his eyes didn't go unnoticed. "I figured it out." His voice had grown into a soft tone he seldom used. "You hooked up with Jet, and then caught him with another woman."   
  
  
  
  
  
Faye stared blankly at the bounty hunter as he rolled with laughter. Each spasm forcing him to hold his stomach. Spike had been steering her towards that statement since the beginning. He was clueless as to her secret identity.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
The man quickly shoved the laughter aside as he reclined in his seat, legs disappearing beneath the table as his muscles stretched. "That kid's been going at for weeks now." He paused as he allowed another large gray cloud of smoke to drift upwards. "She's been so damn annoying, running around yellin' dumb shit about finding 'Faye Faye'."   
  
  
  
  
  
Spike rolled his eyes and cast a glance to the dark haired woman. "Anyways...Ed's on that stupid thing of hers looking for you, unable to find a sign and Jet just works on those goddamn trees of his."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Her break from reality was over. It was time for the conversation to end. "I fail to see where that's my problem." She shrugged indifferently and focused her attention on the street.  
  
  
  
  
  
She watched vacantly as a hand smashed atop the table causing the glasses to rattle. "Dammit Faye! The two of them want you back and you're just sitting there like you don't care!" His eyes darkened as he focused intently on the woman across from him. Neither person noticed the watching eyes of others around them.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"What if I don't?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
A mix of misunderstanding and humor flooded his face in an expression that would have brought the old Faye to giggles. "What?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
As though she were speaking to a child she slowly spoke the words again. "What if I don't care." It wasn't a question. She wanted him to know she didn't care. She had slammed the truth in his face. End of discussion. She didn't even bat an eyelash.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Then I'd say I was right about you not having a heart."  
  
  
  
  
  
She sat motionless under his surveillance. To her the conversation was over.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"They're your friends. You spent too much time with them just to throw everything away." He leaned forward, arms pressing against the metal table. "You owe it to them."  
  
  
  
  
  
Owe? She had been hit and even bit. They had thrown her out...self explanatory.  
"I never promised anything." She hadn't. Promises were troublesome words that seemed to fade away before returning in the most difficult time. Life would be easier without them.   
  
  
  
  
  
Spike growled, his lower body shifting catlike in preparation to pounce. "How do you do it?" White teeth slipped into view as they were ground together. "How do you goddamn do it?"  
  
  
  
  
An eyebrow quirked upwards.  
  
  
  
  
  
"How can you just walk away?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Life is full of leaving. It happens all the time from many different people. "People walk away every day, Spike."  
  
  
  
  
Silence had returned to their table, seated in a chair between the two his eyes flashed with childlike delight at the scene unfolding. Twisting from side to side, he grinned at the blank expressions both wore.  
  
  
  
  
Faye shifted in preparation of her departure from the table while he was in a silent fury. Her eyes began to seek the silent voice that called to her like a siren. They came to rest on a tv that was suspended inside the cafe.   
  
  
  
  
Between the distance and the glare of the glass, it was difficult to discern the images, but she was nearly certain it was the "Star Gateway". If the story was running again, than the man who's life she ended must have been more important than she had believed. Had she been careless and left a trail?   
  
  
  
  
Gravel grated against metal, the protest causing her to shiver. Faye stared at Spike out of the corner of her eyes. He had reclined again. The cigarette that had been his source of patience was now crumpled against the table. His eyes flicked towards her as the crumpled stub was flicked   
  
  
  
  
She watched in the presence of silence. The echoing of the wordless sentences still spoke more than any torrent of words.  
  
  
  
  
  
****************************************************************  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The click of thick heeled boots were muffled by the puddles prowling the pavement. Softer imitations echoed from behind her into the night air.   
  
  
  
  
The side street sparkled crimson underneath the glow of a neon light. The letters of the bar's name were unreadable blurs on the alley floor. The pools of crimson it created disappeared unnoticed underneath shoes.  
  
  
  
  
  
Other than the barely discernible shadow of a dumpster that lined the edge of a building ahead and themselves, the alley was empty or at least it gave the impression.  
  
  
  
  
How many alleys like this one had she been through? In the past two years there had been so many, and all with the same reason.   
  
  
  
  
The hunt.  
  
  
  
  
  
Tonight was different, it was just another street.   
  
  
  
  
Out of the corners of her eyes, Faye watched the man who had moved to her side. The neon light flickered bathing Spike in darkness before the apple light returned it's gentle beam upon him. He was watching the ground as they walked, a self satisfied smirk stretching across his face.   
  
  
  
  
He had known he could convince her to return from the start. He had probably counted on her guilt being the deciding factor, it would've been if it wasn't for her current "emotional" state. She needed to let things calm down before she continued work and the Bebop wanted her to return.   
  
  
  
  
  
One bounty.   
  
  
  
  
  
Just one bounty and she would be able to leave them again, for the last time. She knew lady luck rarely favored her, so a one bounty weekend could turn into a drawn out chase   
across space.  
  
  
  
  
Her nose wrinkled automatically to shut out an offending odor. However, the stench forced its way in a wave of rotting meat and aged cheese. Empty wrappers and broken bottles littered the ground surrounding the dumpster. A second odor wafted its way into her nose. This one a fading mix of sweat and cologne.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye passed the bin, eyes darting suspiciously to the corner beside it.  
  
  
  
  
Nothing.  
  
  
  
  
Strange, she knew the darkness that usually covered her as one of its own could shelter another. They could sit waiting for hours in the shadows for one person. Eyes assessing   
each who passed for that one who would walk unaware into their fate.   
  
  
  
  
Even at an early age children learned to hide in dark spaces. It was naturally the best place to conceal oneself, besides every movie she'd ever seen had someone leaping out of the shadows in an alley. It had been the reason she had created the unconscious habit of walking circles before ever returning to her week's room, and that the day had nearly ended.   
  
  
  
  
  
No longer sensing the presence of Spike, the woman paused. He was standing a few feet back, his hands unseen in his pockets and earth colored eyes focused ahead.  
  
  
  
  
The fog of evaporating rain clung to the forms of five men. The street lamp of the other road ahead shrouded their faces, only allowing their silhouettes to be seen.  
  
  
  
  
  
Shifting the duffel bag that she had forgot she was still carrying, Faye briefly chided herself for packing her weapons inside.  
  
  
  
  
  
She watched as a lengthy round object was lifted by the middle figure. His snickers were echoed by his cohorts who flanked him while he bounced the object in his hand. The simple action was a sentence in itself. "Well look what we found here boys!"  
  
  
  
  
It was impossible to tell which figure spoke next. "You will let us play a game with the girl right?" She ignored the men who began to spread into the shadows around them, her eyes were locked on the one who was obviously the leader.   
  
  
  
  
The middle man began to approach as he spoke over his shoulder. "I'm always generous." The silhouettes shook as more laughter echoed through the darkness.   
  
  
  
  
  
Her old partner's head tilted back with a derisive snort. "Take her, but you'll want to give her back after she starts complaining."   
  
  
  
  
Faye raised an eyebrow.   
  
  
  
  
"Thanks for you're concern." The man was finally close enough to see. His eyes were glowing silver from beneath a mound of coppery curls. The object clasped within his hands was now discernible as a metal pole that he had probably found in a construction area. "Although you won't be concerned for my well being much longer." The shadows opened allowing the other men to return to his sides. "In fact, you won't be able to be concerned for quite a long time."  
  
  
  
  
She had been right about men lurking in the shadows. These men were too cliché to actually pose much of a threat. Their way of life was built mostly on fear, and probably only chose easy targets like women. Faye chose the moment to speak for the first time. "Big talkers are usually weak."  
  
  
  
  
  
A low growl emanated from the aggressor. Silver eyes vanished a moment, when they returned they were almost white. "I don't usually hit a lady."   
  
  
  
  
  
"She's not exactly a lady." Spike spoke to no one in particular.  
  
  
  
  
  
A sickening thud broke the silence that followed as the thief's fist found its way into the bounty hunter's stomach. The force of the impact should have sent him gasping for air, instead a deadly smile crossed his features before his own fist connected with the man's left cheekbone.   
  
  
  
  
  
Realizing it was obviously time to end this engagement, Faye swung her duffel bag upward into the face of the nearest man. With a cry of surprise he stumbled backwards as second heavier set man suddenly sprung at her with a feline ease. Surprised by the   
swiftness the heavy man held, she narrowly sidestepped his lunge.   
  
  
  
  
  
Extra senses awoke on call as Faye curled away in a corner of thought giving complete control to the Raven. The first man had now recovered from the initial shock and together with his companion they began to advance.   
  
  
  
  
  
Taking the initiative, she lunged forward her entire body slamming into the large man. Off balance the woman swung her arm at the other's head in a weak left hook, that hardly forced a recoil from the brute. Knowing she would have to rely on her speed and stamina to wear the men down, she leapt landing nimbly on her booted feet in a crouch behind them.  
  
  
  
  
The smaller man, however had anticipated her next move and already whirled around to face her. His arms swung wildly in forceful punches, that if connected would send her falling into darkness. Sidestepping again, she counterattacked with her strongest roundhouse kick to the shoulder. The man stumbled, losing his balance on the slippery pavement, and toppled headfirst into a puddle.   
  
  
  
  
Faye paused filling her lungs with air, reading herself for her next attack as a familiar scent of sweat tinged with cologne filler her nostrils nearly choking her.   
  
  
  
  
There was a sixth man. He had been hidden the entire time.   
  
  
  
  
  
She had been right.   
  
  
  
  
  
Before she could swing around to defend herself, the unmistakable cold pressure of a gun barrel pressed between her shoulders. She knew the wordless sentences it spoke, as well as the smirk that she sensed present "Game Over."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, whatdya think? Um, thanks to those continuously told me to get off my lazy ass and get working, but *sniff* did you have to say it so mean? The next chapter should be out shortly. *remembers the last time she said that* Well...it should this time. Oh, and please don't tell anyone that I was the one who used the camels. Thankies! 


	5. The Science of Descent

Whew! I finally got another chapter done. In case you missed it, when I moved down here for college two weeks ago, my disk kinda got left at home. ^_^ I was exactly halfway done with the chapter, so I wasn't going to restart it. Anyways, I got it back over Labor Day and have been working so incredibly hard to get it done. I hope you're happy with it, cause I've pulled a few all nighters on it! *yawn* I'm so sleep deprived now. Its hard to write something depressing when my apartment is like really fluorescent colors.  
  
Okay, now I've got a few things I must do before I begin. Thanks sooo much to those of you have reviewed and are constantly reminding me to work on this. I'd probably be sitting around staring at the wall if you didn't say all those nice things. ^_^  
  
Also, I forgot earlier, so I'll say that on the prologue the "Misguided Rose" title came from Edwin McCain if you didn't already realize that. I did put that she heard it from somewhere cause, hey I figured she was frozen for so long that maybe she'd heard it then, and with all that amnesia stuff she wouldn't remember where.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 4 The Science of Descent  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a playground for restless souls.  
  
  
  
The shadows moved, excited by the chance to contend with someone new. Alive in the presence of battle. Alive only for the taste of blood.  
  
  
  
Shoes squished in the darkness, proof that nearby the brawl continued unaware of the change in events. Grunts of pain and frustration emitted from the moving shadows. The sounds were ignored, all concentration was focused on the circle of ice cutting into her skin.  
  
  
  
"You cause a lot of trouble for a woman" A smooth voice almost like music flowed over her shoulder, with no trace of any emotions that could be of aid. "and a small one at that." The flawless voice cracked allowing the pride and anger of a man slipping through.  
  
  
  
The Raven smiled feral in the darkness, those emotions could be her aid. They were his weakness. "Its a gift." The man snorted the only indication of annoyance at her choice in words in the lightless alley.  
  
  
  
The pavement echoed from behind. One behind the other two men stalked towards her, having finally recovered from the last attack. "Get her good!" The smaller man snarled, white teeth glowing wolf like in the dim light.  
  
  
  
"Make it slow Gauvin!" The brute produced a knife from within his jacket pocket, a thickset finger carefully traveling the edge of the small but sharp blade.  
  
  
  
The pressure eased in what she could only assume meant he was distracted in thought. A body tumbled to the side from the source of ignored grunts, her muscles tensing automatically by the sudden spectacle. Her eyes followed the path it made as it rolled uncontrollably on the slippery ground.  
  
  
  
"Help them!" The gunman yelled after the body found a resting spot. His attention had been diverted.  
  
  
  
Throwing as much speed into it as possible Raven' right arm shot backward weaving over then beneath the man's forearm in an upwards thrust meant to dislodge the gun from the crevice in her upper back.  
  
  
  
Caught off guard, Gauvin's gun hand was thrown to the side. His gun arm turned on her's encircling it while the other gripped below her shoulder, driving inward to dislocate the offending appendage.  
  
  
  
The Raven struggled to keep her arm from moving forward the action only slowing the gain. Muscles burned in a tired protest, a sign that it was yielding, all defenses were nearly drained. Upwards into his side a leg swung, the sudden pain caused by the collision forced his hold to falter allowing her to wrench herself free of his grasp. The limb burned as blood returned to its normal route.  
  
  
  
The man had disappeared.  
  
  
  
  
  
Into the gloom she searched for her assailant, eyes squinting as she spun to make sure he hadn't prowled around behind her for a surprise attack. Another rotation found her face to barrel with the revolver. Above it was a man hidden beneath long greasy strands of untamed ebony hair. Large well toned arms were extended in preparation to fire. The indentions of muscles disappeared beneath the edges of his shirt, where undoubtedly a well defined stomach was unseen. Gauvin's lips were upturned in a smug grin. "Some gift."  
  
  
  
Only one hand felt the cool of metal beneath it, although both had shot forward for the gun, the other had been apprehended by the gunman. Every once of strength within her focused on tearing the gun from his grasp, whilst wisdom fought to free the other for the help it could bring.  
  
  
  
Her arm burned with the fires worthy of hell. She knew Gauvin must have been aware, for his weight shifted arms, so that her weakened shoulder was supporting all of his weight. Feet that had been her brace slowly began to with draw backwards hoping to lighten the load.  
  
  
  
Almost out of room.  
  
  
  
The Raven could sense the building behind her, its walls soon to be her cage of captivity. The heel of her boots scuffed against the wall as she found herself pinned. The building gave her something to brace herself with, but it also cut off her precious escape route.  
  
  
  
Everything inside screamed to her to tear the gun from his grasp, but her power was failing her. The overburdened shoulder pleaded for a rest, the other having never been her arm of choice was nearly drained of all energy from its veins.  
  
  
  
  
  
The wall grinded against her back as Gauvin's body crushed her against it, his stench of sweat swallowing her.  
  
  
  
  
  
She had to get him off.  
  
  
  
A booted foot flattened against her attacker's stomach before thrusting heel first outwards. The man skidded backwards hands flying outward for balance as he tumbled to his back, a gust of air followed in wake clearing the atmosphere of the foul odor. The revolver clattered into the shadows a few feet away.  
  
  
  
The burn in her arm had converted to a dull ache. She shrugged in test of the muscles. Swiftly Raven's feet carried her away from the wall around the body towards the last echo of the gun.  
  
  
  
  
  
Suddenly a foot was jerked backwards. Off balance and nowhere to place the weight, her body collapsed backwards, the puddles soaking into her hair. All her weight was shifted to her shoulders as one leg after the other swung over her body propeller like before she rolled to a side, the air bound legs landed swiftly beneath her stomach. The woman lunged forward out of the crouch, eyes searching for a glimpse of the gun. Once retrieved, she returned to the man who was almost to his feet.  
  
  
  
  
  
A potent kick to the stomach brought all air from within the man as he doubled over to clutch the injury. The butt of the gun slammed upwards into his nose, Gauvin's head was thrown backwards shock evident in his features. Once again the gun split through the air, in a downward strike it cracked out into the night atop his head. Gauvin groaned before collapsing into a heap on the pavement.  
  
  
  
The Raven smiled as she bent to flip him over.  
  
  
  
"Faye!"  
  
  
  
Trails of blood now leaped across his face, the crimson visible even in the darkness. Heedless of the bleeding scrapes now adorning her knees, she straddled the body sitting down atop his chest.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Faye!"  
  
  
  
  
  
The voice was ignored.  
  
  
  
  
  
The metal in her hands was almost singing for her to finish. Finish what was started. She placed it against his forehead, leaning forward.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Faye that's enough!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike.  
  
  
  
  
  
For a second the Raven's eyes flicked towards her comrade above her. His lean figure unchanged in the lightless world around them. "He can't fight anymore Faye. There isn't any need in that. It's over."  
  
  
  
  
  
Her vision lowered to the body beneath her. His eyes were large in a state of panic, mouth gasping fishlike for air as his body wracked in pain. She returned her sight to Spike whose expression shifted to a mix of anger and curiosity. From his face she could ascertain what he viewed within her own leafy green depths.  
  
  
  
  
  
Nothing.  
  
  
  
  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
  
  
  
  
"Faye!? Faye-Faye's back!" A squeal was issued from somewhere behind the broad iron door. Its protruding side was effortlessly avoided by the streak of apple and russet that passed through as though it were fully open.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye found the blur circling her almost like an animal eagerly anticipating its master's moves. It lifted her foot whilst shifting into one kneeling image of a child that was twisting to view the bottom of her boot. The rigid material of her trench coat was tugged occasionally as the girl moved upwards, hands groping and probing along her as though a blind seeking to create a mental picture. Hidden within a desert of dusty skin two amber spheres studied her tresses as small fingers slid through lifting the locks away from her neck. Eyes disappeared momentarily as the child sniffed the captured strands. Proclaiming, "Faye!" the girl released the hair in trade of her waist.  
  
  
  
  
  
Unable to give an appropriate reaction, the woman stared at the child clutching her. Unsure of how to precede, her hands remained motionless hovering slightly lifted by her sides.  
  
  
  
  
  
A sideways glance to Spike, confirmed that he had received a similar welcome as well. Curving the edges of his lips was a grin that was reserved only for memories.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hello Ed." Her simple deadpanned words were enough to lighten the girl's grip, still Edward relinquished her hold with nothing short of a fight.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Ed knew Faye would come back!" Childlike trust. She was still filled with it. "Faye wouldn't leave Bebop!"  
  
  
  
  
  
The woman shifted sensing the presence of another entering. Her eyes riveted from Edward to the large built man who had just appeared, spatula in hand. "Spike unless you got that last bounty, don't expect me to repair..." His words trailed off, dark eyes trained on her. The drop of his hand holding the utensil mirrored the shock that was evident on his face.  
  
  
  
  
  
Recovery was quick, with his back pressing against the wall and head bowed; Faye could no longer read him. Except for the spatula that stuck out of his hand and the white apron tied around him, with arms crossed across his chest Jet was the image of all past seriousness. "This isn't a place for free loaders."  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye gave a concise nod.  
  
  
  
  
  
If Jet really wanted her back he wasn't going to admit it to her, especially not in front of Spike. "You have to earn you're stay." The words emitted from deep within his throat.  
  
  
  
  
  
Briefly she wondered whether he had anticipated Spike divulging the information to her, and if his actions were suppose to give a since of normalcy to their meeting. Instead, they only served to thicken the woolen blanket of tension that had enveloped the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
She stood unmoving, observing Jet watching her. No more than a foot away was Spike, hands thrust into the depths of his pockets, watching them both with a countenance of mixed emotions. The last month's days were being retold by Edward who bounced unseen between the group, the only person unaffected by the tension.  
  
  
  
  
  
The silence was chiseled through as Jet forced words into the air. "Well.you probably want to put you're things away."  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye glanced down at the morning blue duffel bag in her hand. She hadn't even realized she was still carrying the bag. Thoughtlessly the muscles in her neck twitched in answer without any thought.  
  
  
  
  
  
"While you're at it..." His good hand rubbed the skin atop his nearly bald head. "take a shower. You smell like garbage!" Jet stalked back into the kitchen, grumbling as though nothing had ever changed, and that it was just another evening of dispute on the Bebop. "Spike I don't have the time or the woolong to repair your ship again."  
  
  
  
Her eyes transferred to the bounty hunter who gave a wave of dismissal over his head as he seated himself in front of the zip screen "No need."  
  
  
  
  
  
Leaving the girl alone, Faye found herself crossing the short corridor to the room she use to call her own. In her memory the hall had been somewhat lengthier, but it didn't matter.  
  
It was the same. Nothing had been changed. She had opened the door fully expecting to see cargo boxes, or even a featureless room that was completely devoid of furniture except for a few shelves to pile objects on, but what she found was something different.  
  
Had they not bothered it because they wanted her to return? No. They had expected her to come back. An assumption that she'd return when she'd had time to deal, or her money ran out. Whichever came first.  
  
  
  
The door clicked shut behind her. Inside its boundaries was a realm of immortality unaffected by time's constant ticking that summoned for her to journey further into its abyss. Seconds later, Faye found herself at the window no longer feeling the pressure of her luggage against her palm.  
  
  
  
Stars.  
  
  
  
Dim remnants of something grand that were now being choked from existence, their beauty no longer embellished or realized, exquisite darkness now claiming them as brethren.  
  
  
  
  
  
For an instant, her reflection stared back with hollow eyes as the Bebop rocked. The gentle hum of the ship's engines was the only sound present. The continuous drone contracted with flicks and fluctuation almost melodious. She had never really listened to their song before. The sirens had long given way. Strange how something someone never really noticed was one of the first detected after an absence.  
  
  
  
"Faye?" Edward called to her uncharacteristically timid from just inside the door. The girl hadn't even made a sound upon entering her room undetected.  
  
  
  
  
  
A nod was given to show that she was listening as Faye located her duffel bag, its rumpled material of pale blue leaping off the bed's ebony and bronze.  
  
  
  
  
  
As if she were a doe caught eating that might at any instant dart away her shipmate approached her slowly. "Why'd Faye not come back?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Shrug.  
  
  
  
  
  
Several crackles of unseen teeth of the zipper bounced unchallenged of supremacy around the room. Items from inside the bag suddenly became fascinating to her. Two nine millimeter semi-automatic pistols lay mocking her from inside the material. No more than an hour ago they were needed, and was unable to retrieve one. The worst mocking came however by the fact that the revolver that had held her at bay earlier in the evening was actually empty.  
  
  
  
  
  
The girl's voice broke Faye from her own cage of thoughts. "Ed looked hard, but couldn't find Faye. Did Faye not want to be found?"  
  
  
  
  
  
She wasn't nearly the clueless child everyone believed her to be.  
  
  
  
On the opposite side of the bed squat Edward, her tiny nose pressing into the outer level of the thick comforter. Young pained innocence was clearly discernable from the wide amber eyes that were focused on her. A familiar tan and pearl muzzled corgi was being squeezed in worry by the child. "Do you hate Edward?  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye looked up to view the girl, the words still being spoken in her mind. "No."  
  
  
  
The simple one syllable answer launched the younger flying over the bed, arms outspread towards her, Ein plummeting to the floor with a dull thump. A surprising strength hugged her once again. She watched the customary smile worn by the other return to its home. Without another word the girl released her and vanished out the door, leaving Faye in confusion of the events that just transpired.  
  
  
  
  
  
Ein brushed his icy wet nose against her ankle in a doglike greeting before following Ed into the hall.  
  
  
  
  
  
Emptying her bag completely, Faye didn't detect the other visitor until he spoke. "You could've come back."  
  
  
  
  
  
Never once did she glance up, from the bag that she was unpacking. To know what expression Jet was wearing, she didn't need to set eyes on him. It would be the same one she had witnessed on Spike's face in the darkened alley when he had seen her body, and known the soul had fled. Indifferent words fell from her lips. "My presence seems to cause problems."  
  
  
  
  
  
In a few short strides due to his longer legs, the man crossed the distance to the window. He floundered for words. "You should've at least contacted."  
  
  
  
"Somehow I was under the impression that you didn't want to hear from me." Faye lifted the final article of clothing from the bag, examining the oversized shirt from many different angles while responding absently.  
  
  
  
"It was a difficult time" A side of Jet that only surfaced in private spoke the words.  
  
  
  
  
  
Knowing that her next empty statement would cause him to revaluate her, Faye spoke the words anyways, and with as little interest as though they were discussing something as trivial as the weather. "Doesn't matter to me."  
  
  
  
  
  
The man she had once thought of as a father gaped at her, probably blaming himself for her transformation. "You still should have contacted." He repeated the sentence again with a slower more irritated quality.  
  
  
  
  
  
"It already ended." She had left him in the wake of a hurricane, trying to hold on to what was gone.  
  
  
  
  
  
Everything.  
  
  
  
The dark man turned away from her, his eyes trailing through the black vastness of bitter space speckled with drops of pale topaz. For a moment, she wondered whether he was also aware of their futile existence, but the lines on his face told her otherwise. "Things won't ever be the way they were before?" His words rang more to himself than to her.  
  
  
  
Broken. Everything they had known was broken. She was descending into darkness as though it were no more than a science that she was perfecting. One that she couldn't pull herself from practicing. Perhaps for the short duration that she would be spending on the Bebop she could at least feign to be her old self. "It wasn't my fault you couldn't find me!" Faye rocked her head so that her chin was tilting upward in an expression she thought to be indignation, unable to find its memory to confirm it. Grim resolve fought to keep the emptiness from carrying into her voice, while her arms folded in an act of irritation across her chest.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I was a little unlucky in a casino and came out with no money, so I decided to prove that despite all of you guys mocking me, that I was able to catch a bounty." She continued as though it was hard to admit, while Jet watched her in attentive silence from a few feet away. "They set me up and the Redtail was in pretty bad shape. So guess what. I had no money, no ride and left on the outskirts of some godforsaken town on Earth, and everyone wants to ask me why I never made it back!?"  
  
  
  
She rocked on her heels sorting out the next few lines for a minute before returning to the story. "I was stuck doing any sort of work, just enough to get by. By the time I was finally able to repair my ship and make it to Jupiter, the damn ghost of Christmas past in there shows up!" She started gesturing to the door, where undoubtedly Spike would be sprawled across the couch.  
  
  
  
Surprise flickered in the man's eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well I had to have you come back. You never paid me for the invoice." He grinned at his own wiliness.  
  
  
  
It had worked. He had bought her story.  
  
  
  
  
  
"What!?" An eyebrow twitched as though she were annoyed. "Ohhh"  
  
  
  
  
  
The ghost of Christmas past entered the room, hands tucked in his pockets, and cigarette perched between his lips. Cinnamon eyes focused on the two as though he was unsure of his timing. "Since someone learned a few new tricks," Those eyes sent her an unreadable look before he finished. "we're going after someone big."  
  
  
  
  
  
Arms remaining crossed, the woman listened to Spike's words. "Been a lot about them."  
  
  
  
  
  
No.  
  
  
  
  
  
Lady Luck really did despise her.  
  
  
  
Silenced by the words she knew he was about to speak, her mind was already searching for a way to change the events that would follow. Forget the deal. Forget everything and just leave. Everything was already broken, but perhaps the hurricane wasn't over yet. "We're going after the Raven." It was only just beginning.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Do you like the end to that? I'm happy with the scene with Ed, but I'm not to sure on the one with Jet. I know I always threaten to redo a chapter, but I might really do it this time. Keyword in that sentence was might. Here's the main thingy I want to say. I use to run a website, but that was back when it was easy. I'm thinking about starting one again, and was wondering since I'm not especially good with html what's a good place to use? Lord knows I might need someone for help, if I can't figure it out. Anybody have in suggestions on where to go? Suggestions and comments are welcome on my story too! :P 


	6. Shaken in a Box

Yippy skippy I wrote another chapter! I've really absolutely hated writing this chapter. There were a few things in it that needed to be said, but I didn't know how to end it the way I had planned without changing the storyline just a bit, so here this is. I'm ready for the next chap cause at least I've got most of it written already.  
  
Big thanks to all those who've been supporting me! You guys are just so darn kewl! ^_^ Without you guys, I think I'd probably be locked in my room rewritting kumbaya over and over again. Special thanks to Blooknaburg for helping me get over my writer's block. The well is no longer dry. :P Thanks so much everybody and I hope this chapter doesn't disapoint anybody too much.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Shaken in a Box  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She was losing control.  
  
  
  
  
  
Even her will was unable to gain power over the pieces flapping about inside the tin box of her entirety. She had spent time learning to manipulate those around her so that she could maintain a form of stability, but now all that was left was uncertainty. Nothing was going to be stable, for the Bebop wouldn't be so easily manipulated.  
  
  
  
  
  
It was almost like everything she had created had been made to be broken. There had been so much care in creating a life that no one could ever take away. No one would ever be able to know the truth, but once long ago somewhere in her old life Faye had heard someone say that the things a person worked the most for were often the ones that were taken away.  
  
  
  
  
  
No matter how hard she tried.  
  
  
  
  
  
Everything was falling glass.  
  
  
  
  
  
It was going to shatter.  
  
  
  
  
  
How many more times would she simply disappear? No, it was too late for her to quit. There wasn't any backing away. She was on a course of collision with everything she had fought to gain as the price of failure, but life was always one large gamble, and she wasn't about to fold.  
  
  
  
  
  
Another languid drag of her cigarette sent a long column of smoke spiraling towards the ceiling. Its mass less gray form hovered watchfully, the fringed edges beginning to shift, releasing the newly acquired memories from the depths of her mind.  
  
  
  
  
  
For a moment Faye had just stood there, mind reeling for a way to change the events. With her new identity, she was supposed to be clever. She was supposed to be a master of escaping, but she knew it would be difficult to escape the Bebop. They wouldn't be so easily fooled.  
  
  
  
  
  
Jet had simply nodded his approval at Spike's choice of bounty while Ed's eyes rounded into golden coins. They were content with his choice of bounty. It was just another bounty. One like every other, to them at least.  
  
  
  
  
  
Finding her words had taken longer than she had expected. At first she had wondered whether he was already aware, but it was impossible. She had been too careful. "Why him?" A special stress was given to the gender.  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike shrugged and simply questioned her in return, his words more from annoyance at her challenge than actual suspicion. "Why not?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Her mind had made everything more difficult than any of it actually was. "No reason."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"What do you know about him?"  
  
  
  
  
  
In a gesture of innocence she crossed her arms and shrugged. "Nothing that hasn't already been said on the news."  
  
  
  
  
  
Much of the questioning ended when the Black Dog spoke up, his face contorted into a mixed expression of annoyance and excited ness. "Whoever this guy is, he knows what he's doing." All emotions that were present a moment before were replaced with that of a faraway look as though he was rerunning an image through his mind. "He's been able to keep all info on himself to a minimum."  
  
  
  
  
  
Under different circumstances she might have taken the statement as a compliment, but with the ones present.it really hadn't been directed to her. It had been directed to someone who didn't exist outside of battle.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'm gonna go find out what I can from the victims' families." Jet kneaded his lower back, eyes landing on the girl at lying in a heap at his feet. "Ed, you stay and see if you can find anything that hasn't been stated in the crime scene records. Then check out the personnel files at the businesses and see if you can find a link in missing workers around the time that the murders started."  
  
  
  
  
  
From the ground Ed had given an over exaggerated wave, her legs swinging around wildly in the air as she chirped. "Alrighty!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike from his newly acquired position leaning against the door, one arm pressing against the door frame for balance while the other bent upward atop his shoulder, its fingers hooked inside his jacket's collar. The unworn material swayed as he pulled away from the door. "A little snooping around the actual places might pay off."  
  
  
  
  
  
Jaw set and arms flailing, Faye had been the picture of her former self in disgruntled humor. "I guess I'm supposed to go to the usual hangouts and see what the lowlife bounties know about him!"  
  
  
  
  
  
It hadn't been a total lie. Part of her wanted to learn what was known about her other self. It would give her the knowledge necessary for improvement, but so far it was exactly as she had worked to make it. No information.  
  
  
  
  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by a thick drawling voice that belonged to a man somewhere in his thirties. "I know who you are."  
  
  
  
  
  
She lost her place. Her mind blurring creating a dense fog that separated her from her counter part in a honed preparation for a danger that might make itself known.  
  
  
  
  
  
The drunk leaned against her, one arm finding its way to the counter for support. "You're the woman of my dreams."  
  
  
  
  
  
False alarm.  
  
  
  
  
  
Without hindrance the fog lifted, danger no longer living in the air. A tiny voice from somewhere inside her, wanted to laugh at the defensiveness that she seemed to be leaping into recently.  
  
  
  
  
  
"You look like a smart gal, so you probably already know who I am." A sloppy grin filtered to his lips while one of his hands slowly wandered up her shoulder. Calloused fingers scrapped roughly over the curves of her skin.  
  
  
  
  
  
"No. I don't." Huffing her cigarette disinterestedly, Faye shrugged the probing hand away.  
  
  
  
  
  
His tongue ran the length of his lower lip, eyes focused intently on the skin his hands were forced to leave. "Sure you do. I'm famous."  
  
  
  
  
  
It was time to end the conversation. Lips split into a challenging feral smile. "If you're so famous then why don't I know who you are?"  
  
  
  
  
  
It was obvious that he hadn't expected her to rebuke his claim. It had probably been a line that caused many women to fall at his feet as though the goddess Venus herself had chastened her with a spell. "Ouch..well uh, you do realize that if I told you, then I'd have to kill you."  
  
  
  
  
  
Losing interest and unable to quiet his ramblings of fame, the woman began wondering if there was a chance that he could contain some information.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Well, only because" His eyes darted around suspiciously before he leaned forward, a hand cupping around his mouth in childlike manner. Voice dropped and breath of liquor, the words he spoke wasn't what she was expecting. "I'm known as Raven around here."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye nearly laughed openly at the absurdity of the lie. It was ironic that fate had allowed her to be the target of his claims. He was adopting her lie. They were both being caught in her web of lies.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Feigning intrigue, a sultry smile flashed to the drunk. "Really."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Yeah." His eyes never strayed from the path they were tracing appreciatively along her body. "I take what I want without anyone knowing until its too late. It's usually life and uh." Rusty brown locks dove outstretched towards his eyes, that gleamed a rich chocolate in the dimly lit bar. "I'm thinking about taking yours."  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a strange moment, staring into carefree eyes that belonged to someone who claimed to be a murderer. It wasn't a position to be taken lightheartedly, and yet men were actually using her other persona as a pick up line? He wasn't worth the bother for information.  
  
  
  
  
  
Having spun on her backside and now facing the room, his words vanished from her ever present void. Soft yellow light was emitted from several small fixtures that were suspended from the ceiling by copper chains over the center of round wooden tables. A slender man bent over the pool table preparing for his shot, the stick jutting out behind him before a crack split through the room. Tables were littered with empty glasses where only one person was seated, lost in their own misery.  
  
  
  
  
  
At the center of the room was a larger table, at which four men were seated amusing themselves with a game of cards, their eyes flashing towards her between sentences. Laughter ruptured through the group, glasses were raised and each man downed another round that was coaxed on by the man directly ahead. He snorted, eyes never leaving hers.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye found herself standing over the circle of men, all false personality gone. She ignored the other men, targeting the one who seemed to be in control. He hunched forward in his chair, a cascade of blond brushing against his shoulders, while stormy gray eyes stared up amusedly at her. His features were made severe by a narrow scar that extended from his jaw to somewhere beneath the collar of his loose shirt and jacket. The man blew smoke from his nose while holding three cards loosely between his fingers, another two were being slid across the table towards him.  
  
  
  
  
  
She was directly to the point. "You've got something I need."  
  
  
  
  
  
The men at the table dropped their heads, each snickering at their own obscene thoughts that they pulled from her statement. Reclining the leader smirked. "Yeah well I've got something that a lot of women need." Glasses were raised to his comment and another drink was downed between the laughter of the men.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I need some information..." She continued unaffected by the leers and comments she received. "on the mercenary known as Raven."  
  
  
  
  
  
Another cloud of smoke left his nose. "I don't just give away information."  
  
  
  
  
  
"What's the price?"  
  
  
  
  
  
The two guys flanking him leaned over, whispering inaudible words into his ears, receiving a nod and a grin for payment. When he returned his attention to her, his eyes held a mischievous glint. "How about we play for it?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye narrowed her eyes. "I don't have any money."  
  
  
  
  
  
He motioned to the man on his left. "Well Dias here was just about to quit anyways, so you can just play his chips." A chair was abandoned in front of her, its occupant bowing over exaggeratedly. "The boys are gonna keep playin' just to make it interestin', all you've gotta do is win all of mine and you get your information, but of course you can't keep the pile."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Of course."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Achilles. Just call me Achilles." He winked at her, smoke sneaking through his teeth that grinned suggestively at her figure.  
  
  
  
  
  
What was left of the gambler inside her could easily overtake Achilles. She seated herself across from him, raking Dias's chips across the table to herself while no longer caring about the eyes that followed her body. It was going to be an easy game.  
  
  
  
  
  
Hand after hand she slowly chiseled away at the group's hope of victory, the men moaning in defeat as they tossed their cards atop the table. Each coal and fire colored card hand brought her closer to victory. Chips of black and white began piling in front of her, forcing a player to drop out of the game. Those who dropped out turned to booze for comfort as they watched their friends gradually succumb to the same fate.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Strait. Full House. Four of a Kind. Strait. Her rivals hadn't had a chance from the start. It was the final hand, Achilles was on his final foot. Five coal face cards beamed up at her, even in the shadows that threatened to claim the entirety of the room. Tiny gold embers drifted to the table unnoticed, the ashes a grave for the small stub that remained from her cigarette, as she laid each card beside her bulky pile of chips.  
  
  
  
  
  
Intakes of breath filled the room along with the realization that the game was over, Faye had won.  
  
  
  
  
  
She watched Achilles shake his head, eyes staring in what could only be described as disbelief at the cards that were lying in the center of the table.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hmph.alright." At that moment the chair squeaked and Faye found stormy gray eyes inches from her own. "This is what I know. He's a thread of existence. He is but he isn't. This guy can just totally disappear from existence. It's almost like he doesn't exist. He's just really good at disappearing. Word is that he's in some sort of high society and has all these guys working on the inside to keep anyone from finding him."  
  
  
  
  
  
A pause followed as Achilles' eyes trailed to a man who had just seated himself at the bar. "At first all the murders were in random places, but recently they've all been getting closer to each other. It's almost like when you see clouds and can the feel the moisture on your hand, but it's not actually raining. Raven's been getting all his murders closer in time, and it seems like time for rain." Deep gray eyes flicked back to the man who just entered. "There's something strange about him."  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye watched him from the corners of her eyes, how he sat by himself with nothing to drink. Odd. Why would anyone go to bar if they weren't there to drink or socialize? "What?"  
  
  
  
  
  
"He's only here once or twice a month or so." The man reclined in his chair, staring once again at the cards that had defeated him. "Come to think of it he's always here the night before and after someone's killed."  
  
  
  
  
  
It was obviously a coincidence.  
  
  
  
  
  
She gave a nod to her informant and stood turning towards the exit. "Thanks."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Pausing, she glanced back to the man who was busy raking the chip back to his side of the table. "Leave Raven alone, this guy's totally fucked in the head."  
  
  
  
  
  
She wouldn't have used that terminology, but it was probably the truth.  
  
  
  
  
  
Words that didn't mean a thing slipped from her lips just moments before she could feel the sticky night air against her face. "Too late for that."  
  
  
  
  
  
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It had been a quiet flight through the atmosphere into space. Even the vastness of stars that had met her was filled with a velvety silence that was thick and complete beyond any she had ever known.  
  
  
  
  
  
At first sight of the Bebop, everything was meaningless as though nothing was really ever there at all. Her mind was falling through a gray fog only because there was no where else to go and no way to slow the decent, as she coasted the Redtail in for an easy landing that had become second nature.  
  
  
  
  
  
Every footfall seemed unnaturally loud on the metal floor of the hanger, where only one other ship was parked besides her Redtail.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye stepped inside the door to the inner workings of the Bebop, her eyes scanning for signs of movement. Sizzling could be heard from the kitchen were Jet was undoubtedly preparing the evening's dinner, that sent a spicy metallic odor into the air.  
  
  
  
  
  
Passing the kitchen without so much as a glance, she made her way to her room where oddly enough the door was cracked. Darkness clung to the edges fighting for release from the small room. It had probably been Ed, wanting to play a prank on her.  
  
  
  
  
  
In any case, one hand gently nudged the door open, her mind already telling her to step back. It was nearly impossible to make out anything other than the mishapen outlines of objects inside.  
  
  
  
  
  
Nothing. Only seconds after she clicked the light on did she change her mind. Lying on the center of her bed was a pearl envelope, with black sigils. Briefly she studied a sigil, the form of a black bird with its wings outstretched, ready for flight.  
  
  
  
  
  
A raven.  
  
  
  
  
  
Somebody knew. It couldn't have been a coincidence.  
  
  
  
  
  
Time lapsed itself and Faye found herself in the kitchen doorway in search of answers to questions that were setting up camp inside her. "Hey Jet. Did anyone come on board today?"  
  
  
  
  
  
"No. Not that I know of." Abscently swishing the contents in his frying pan to receive a hissing sound, Jet gave a dubious glance over his shoulder towards the woman. "Why?"  
  
  
  
  
  
"No reason." Faye had already whirled back towards her room before she had bearly finished speaking. Whoever it was had slinked on board without anyone ever knowing.  
  
  
  
  
  
Only one step inside her room this time and she had already shut the door, her back pressing against it for a cold comfort, eyes locked on the envelope that was mocking her from across the room. It was a piece of paper that could end everything for her.  
  
  
  
  
  
Kneeling next to her bed, Faye split the corners and shook a folded slip out from within the envelope. Her mind reading than rereading the note from inside.  
  
  
  
  
  
It was easy for her to know what the note meant.  
  
  
  
  
  
Everything was about to be shaken in a box.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
In my over used, end of chapter words..whatdya think? ^_^ On a side note for anybody that's still wondering, this will eventually turn into a Faye/Spike fic..I think :P Well college is fun, but tough. My English professor gave me a D on something I spent around two weeks working on! Grrrr..he went from being so kewl to just something I don't like. I just thought I'd say that, so you know where I am if I can't update too soon; working on class stuff that is. LOL I'm just you're average girl trying to make it on a favorites list...aww gee now that I've said it, I feel kinda bad. I think I'll go cry out of remorse now. 


	7. Lullaby for the Injured Soul

It's been a little over a month since my last chapter. I've been busy with college and couldn't quite find the time to write, plus in all honesty I just plain forgot. If I don't put something out, just email and ask what's going on, I promise it works. LOL I got to edit and check my roommate's paper, heh.that was kewl. I enjoyed that actually. It made me feel useful. I couldn't believe that I enjoyed that. I don't mind helping peeps out. Anyways I'm pleased with this chapter and hope you enjoy it..  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Lullaby for the Injured Soul  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Burning.  
  
  
  
  
  
Skin was burning.  
  
  
  
Flames.  
  
  
  
Flames growing behind her.  
  
  
  
Air against face.  
  
  
  
Running.  
  
  
  
Flames still behind her.  
  
  
  
Swirling adjacent to her.  
  
  
  
  
  
Forward.  
  
  
  
Only forward.  
  
  
  
Running.  
  
  
  
Pause.  
  
  
  
Movement ahead.  
  
  
  
Birds.  
  
  
  
Black feathers.  
  
  
  
  
  
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It was the first dream in nearly two years. Usually each night was a dreamless void of darkness, but everything was changing. Now she was lying in a bed that had held her to its chest countless times.  
  
  
  
  
  
Slowly the darkness lifted, or rather the ominous black objects scattered around the room seemed darker than the air, which had taken on a melancholy atmosphere since she had arrived. She had expected many things upon her return, but the acceptance that she received wasn't one of them. In truth, she had almost returned once, but luckily she had held back, and only a few short days later the Raven had been born. Everything had been molded into a sweet madness.  
  
  
  
Faye slowly untangled her legs from the sheets, the cooler night air tickling her exposed skin. Legs curled beneath her, she sat at the head of the bed, mind blank for the moment that her eyes traced the shadows. Within her, her own shadows stirred, yearning for the freedom that would be drowned while she was aboard the Bebop. The monster that now lived inside her roared to be as open as the darkness around her, and the shell, the body it was imprisoned in couldn't contain it forever. Given the size of the remaining spirit, if the monster wrought forth, she couldn't chasten the insanity.  
  
  
  
Lowering her feet to the floor, she lifted herself from the bed. Waves of icy numbness shot through her toes as the small digits glided across the evening chilled floor. She paused at her door, a hand resting on the handle, before it was slowly slid open. Eyes narrowed in search of any sign of movement.  
  
  
  
None.  
  
  
  
  
  
Her feet stopped beside the huge steel door leading to the hanger. How many times had she stepped through that door without ever being asked? How many times had she come through to hear complaints about her messing up a bounty or her freeloading? She had always been an uninvited guest; well at least guests had the respect of their host. She had never had it. How simple it would be for her to step through it and disappear for the last time.  
  
  
  
  
  
Upon entering the living room she had half expected to see the pale blue and white flickering of the tv. It was almost like the many nights that she had wandered in sleepless to find Spike pretending to watch a show during the late hours to ease the pain in his mind.  
  
  
  
  
  
Normal.  
  
  
  
  
  
Normally someone would have been up. The screen casting its pale blue and white shadows on the wall while soft echoes of a half watched show would replace the emptiness in the room with its own worthlessness.  
  
  
  
  
  
Normal life had been lost, no, she hadn't lost it. She had given it up. She had chosen to leave it behind. It had been her decision to never return, but here she was. Here she was, again.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye nestled herself on the couch, one hand dangling off to graze against the floor, while the other propped beneath her head. In memory the cushions were only partially worn, instead of the spongy material that was in dire need of replacement. Its coarse material sank beneath her, inviting her further into its depths.  
  
  
  
  
  
She wasn't sure how long she had lain there, staring at the ceiling before her own shadows shifted again. The tv echoed, and pale blue light bathed the room. Spike had reclined beside her with his feet atop the coffee table, while his eyes focused absently on the screen.  
  
  
  
  
  
Memory recalled her shifting and grumbling each minute. "What is this?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Cinnamon eyes never left the screen, but a quirk in the corner of his lips had let her know that he had been listening. "It's educational."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Since when have you ever cared about anything educational?" She had rolled her eyes, arms crossed across her chest as she glared at the unwanted picture on the screen.  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike had watched her from the corners of his eyes. "You mean you don't want to know more about the largest tick collection?"  
  
  
  
  
  
"No and neither do you."  
  
  
  
  
  
"How do you know what I want?"  
  
  
  
  
  
"Just change the channel."  
  
  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Change the channel."  
  
  
  
  
  
"No." He finally grinned openly.  
  
  
  
She had dove across him, hands reaching wildly for the controller that his left hand held just out of reach. Her shoulder was repeatedly being shoved by his free hand as he fought to keep her away. "Give it!"  
  
  
  
"Dammit Faye, get off me!" A sudden overpowering shove sent her flopping backwards, legs waving wildly in the air as she nearly tumbled off the couch.  
  
  
  
  
  
Faye had crawled back to her original position, glaring at the man beside her that was no longer aware of her presence. The dull drone of the man on screen was the only noise in the darkened room for a minute. His soft voice continuing to annoy her, as he continuously rambled on about the different breeds of ticks. "Spike, change the channel or I'm leaving!"  
  
  
  
  
  
"You promise?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Dampness crossing her fingers brought her back to the present where she was still staring through the darkness at the ceiling. The velvety origins of the dankness probed further up into the palm of her hand leaving her fingers sticky.  
  
  
  
Faye peered over the edge of the couch where a sand colored corgi stared back at her. Ein's ears were lowered against the back of his head in an expression of sadness. Had he been there when she came in?  
  
  
  
For a moment she laid there eyes locked on the dog that stared back at her with the same eyes that could see into her soul. They were the same eyes that knew more than any human could ever begin to dream of, and they were fixated on her. She blinked, black feathers lining the inside of her eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The couch was abandoned, her legs taking on their zombie form, dragging her to the kitchen. Thoughtlessly she found a glass and shoved it under the sink, some of the clear liquid splashing onto her wrist. The whizzing sound of the water pulled forth another memory.  
  
  
  
"Watch it will you!? You're getting me wet!" On the counter beside the sink sat Spike, a plate in hand as he busily raked its contents into his mouth.  
  
  
  
Memory was fuzzy but the comments she had thrown back were clear. "I am not! You're just dropping food on yourself!"  
  
  
  
"I don't drop food on myself!"  
  
  
  
  
  
"Then I guess you're drooling!"  
  
  
  
"Drooling!?"  
  
  
  
"Hey you two, we've got a bounty to worry about." Jet had always played the part of the father. He was the one that had to try and end the many fights that had always occurred.  
  
  
  
Silence reigned supreme for only a second before the bickering began again. "Dammit Faye! Stop it!"  
  
  
  
Jet sighed no longer trying to control the argument. "Why do they always do this?"  
  
  
  
Smirking sinisterly Faye had lifted the glass that she was filling and poured the water in the bounty hunter's lap. An innocent smile played at her lips as she watched Spike leap from the counter, cursing her for the water while his plate tumbled to the floor, its contents flying across the room.  
  
  
  
  
  
Reality pulled her back as water overflowed from her glass, slipping her fingers from the rim. The cup splintered into pieces as it landed in the sink, a small shard was left hanging from Faye's index finger. Impassively she plucked the piece from her finger, a thick river of crimson trailed down it. Faye stared at the blood waiting for the pain. She waited for the surprise. She waited for something, but it never came.  
  
  
  
The darkness around her shifted into the shape of her room, where she found herself digging through a drawer. Carelessly she tossed all items over her shoulder until she moved to the next, until her hands felt the seal of the pearl envelope the she had hidden earlier.  
  
  
  
A flourish of writing that was neater than she had ever seen mocked her from the paper. Its words were more important than the neat hand writing?  
  
  
  
"237 kilometers east of the Venus city Bethel are the ruins of a nameless city. Be there at 2:00p.m. I'd hate to clip a raven's wings."  
  
  
  
Faye retrieved her pistol, checking the bullets, before she glanced to her coat that was lying in a wrinkled clump on the floor. She'd have to be ready, for a raven that couldn't fly could easily be caged.  
  
  
  
Venus. She'd leave first thing in the morning.  
  
  
  
  
  
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It loomed out of the desert's heart.  
  
  
  
  
  
The dusty columns that were tainted with vines emerged from the sand like a servant, its brave soul no longer it's own, but a ghost of something once alive. The skeleton of brick buildings still half remained, their tops crumbled in piles along what was once cobblestone, but now fine ground sand.  
  
  
  
It was almost like a dream. Trees had somehow taken root in the area, their large limbs hovering over the rooms, while their roots had carved holes in the remaining walls. Her feet nearly losing their footing on the uneven ground as she weaved through the buildings towards what she hoped was the center of the city.  
  
  
  
The further she went into the ruins, the more weeds and small flowers controlled the ground. Large iron bars had collapsed probably due to the weather across many of the buildings, leaving them unsteady and under stress themselves.  
  
  
  
Raven pivoted into another room, her pistol clasped tightly between her hands ready to attack if needed. The trees to her left rustled as birds took to the air, a sign that someone was near. Her body swung around to search for the new threat, the pistol only making it halfway before a gun report resonated through the air from behind.  
  
  
  
The pistol ripped from her hand, clattering against the brick wall that had been her cover. Rubbing her finger that was burned as the gun was torn away; she slowly turned from the flock to face her attacker.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Don't move!"  
  
  
  
He was easy not to miss, she would have seen him if she hadn't have whirled to face the birds. A little over twenty yards away stood a man with familiar copper hair. "I'd hate to clip a raven's wings."  
  
  
  
Was he from an office building?  
  
  
  
Was he...  
  
  
  
Giles?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well that more of a character development chapter than anything else, but I'm pleased. I promise the story picks up from here and gets a lot of action, oh and there's even going to be a heart to heart chat in the next.well sorta. ^_^ Have fun lamenting over that till next time. I swear I'm never gonna give up on this. 


	8. Rendezvous in Ruins

It's about time I finally updated this! Whew.so glad I finally finished it. I've had so many things going on and a major case of writer's block. I'd end up falling asleep at my computer cause of my stressing day, but my best hours are late at night, so I couldn't write anything during the day, and was only getting a few sentences for I'd pass out. Plus, my big bro had me reading over all his work for his class, and I must say I really enjoyed helping out. Oh and a quick thanks to those of you who are still reading this, I can't believe anyone would still be waiting after this time, but thanks for sticking by me!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Rendezvous in Ruins  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Surprised I knew where to find you?" A loud and mocking voice cut through the silence of the ruins that had controlled them moments before. It's owner maintaining the ready position of his gun, as he took a few careful steps forward. "Oh wait.that's right. Mercenaries are never surprised."  
  
  
  
  
  
Muscles knotted then unknotted continuously, in an unseen ritual to prepare Raven to move in a quick burst if the need arose. "Some say that." Her eyes locked on the similar white flecked green pair that flashed through the air around her.  
  
  
  
Giles nodded chuckling to himself. "And you don't?"  
  
  
  
Her shoulders bobbed once while hands slipped into the pockets of her trench coat. "Those who say it are bragging and."  
  
  
  
"You have no need to brag?" A smug grin appeared, darkening his features rather than lightening them like most. His eyes continued to focus more on her entirety and the space around them than her searching hands.  
  
  
  
"If that was a blow to my pride, I assure you that I have none you could injure." Her body seemingly motion less, while Raven's mind twitched each toe and finger as if to check that they still worked. Eyes roved over the figure before her labeling him out of place with his black dress pants and peridot shirt.  
  
  
  
"You won't mock me." Giles' finger twitched almost imperceptibly, the soft click of the trigger almost a horn in the silence as it pulled thunder behind it.  
  
  
  
The half standing wall behind her right shoulder spit a puff of dust and pebbles into the air as though a man hit in a bar fight. The powdery brown substance sprayed onto her shoulder. She hadn't moved. She was exactly the same prior to the shot. "I was not mocking."  
  
  
  
Sand covered cobblestones shuffled as he slowly approached her, gun extended towards her head. "You have no idea what I'm going to do." A smile known only to someone aware of events to come crossed his lips, a feature worthy of the wolf cloaked in sheepskin. Now, only inches from her face, the gun cast its shadow across her neck. "You don't know whether I plan to hire you, turn you in." His free hand reached forward, fingers caressing the ebony strands closest to her face. "or whether I'm just your average psycho who plans to kill and bury you in the sands, but of course after I've had my fun with you."  
  
  
  
Her chin lifted away gauging his reaction to her movement, or rather lack of one. "Doubtful."  
  
  
  
Giles' head lowered at an angle of curiosity, lower jaw extending passed the upper. "And why is that?" The gun was removed as both arms were extended to his sides, body twisting right then left as though in show for a crowd. "Care to enlighten me?"  
  
  
  
"Too much trouble just to kill me." Faye stated matter of factly. "You could've just as easily shot me on the street." Her weight shifted, as she removed her hands from her pockets, stretching them above her head in feline finesse. "Besides you've already proven that you know where to find me if you planned to turn me in."  
  
  
  
"True, but I would also know about your friends."  
  
  
  
Friends. Could she even call them that anymore?  
  
  
  
"You could've gotten help." Glancing over her shoulder, she stood sideways between him and the wall surveying the area the bullet had hit as though the conversation was no more than something between friends. "Only one option left."  
  
  
  
A nod towards her gun, gave her the final confirmation she needed as he backed away placing his own in the back of his pants belt. "Clever girl. That's why I like you."  
  
  
  
Busy reclaiming her own, an old fashioned Shepherd Arms P38 9mm, an extremely rare gun in these days that was admittedly a little slow on the reload, she didn't bother with a response. Her hand welcomed the well known feel of death warmed over beneath it.  
  
  
  
"Would you like to hear a story?" His voice had grown lighter, almost distant, so that when she glanced up, he had already returned to the wall in which she had first seen him. A crumbling column piled to his left, the wall only climbing to his waist to create a window into the next fallen building.  
  
  
  
"Once upon a time, there was a city on Venus that was known for its gambling." Giles' hands were clasped together behind his back that faced her, his eyes probably roaming through the window that was created from the collapse. "It gambled on life, love, and just plain gambled, until one day something happened that changed it."  
  
  
  
  
  
Already growing tired of the game she approached him, her hands grazing the column in absent listening.  
  
  
  
  
  
"It was changed into a city that lived at night. It was never truly alive until darkness claimed the sky." A slow knowing smile materialized on his lips. "Isn't it beautiful? Deadly too." He turned ever so slightly towards her, face blank. "Do you know what this city was known as?"  
  
  
  
  
  
The woman knelt in the sand, fingers tracing tunnels in the grains, and then lifting it to watch impassively as it hurried back to the ground. "I suppose you'll tell me anyway."  
  
  
  
Near perfect teeth flashed for a moment. "True." She watched him cast a final glance through the window before turning to face her completely, seating himself on the eroding wall. "It was known as Ausguck."  
  
  
  
"That matters, how?"  
  
  
  
All trace of mirth fled as his eyes slowly drained in pigment from cloudy forests to snow covered trees, only small fragments of the leafy color visible. "In the late twentieth century German language, Ausguck meant Raven's Nest."  
  
  
  
Tossing the sand to the ground, the woman's legs lifted her to full height. "Am I supposed to be impressed?"  
  
  
  
He shrugged. "Where better to find a raven then at her next?"  
  
  
  
"So what do you want?"  
  
  
  
Faye rocked slightly, watching him chose his words. "Just a simple task, really." The bottom lobe of his ear became his interest, as he rubbed at it childishly. "Nothing different from the last."  
  
  
  
"I.S.S.P. is still on alert, covering everything," Her head tilted back so that she squinted up at the sky. "I usually wait around two weeks before I take on another."  
  
  
  
"How about adding half of last to it?"  
  
  
  
"That's a lot of woolong."  
  
  
  
"Isn't it?"  
  
  
  
She shrugged. "Skip the smugness. Who and when?"  
  
  
  
Laughter filled the air as Giles passed behind her, his footsteps becoming eerily silent on the sandy cobblestones. "To the point as always." The laughter slowed into a long intake of breath, barely audible even in the silence of the ruins. "Ever heard of Lilan and Ostin?"  
  
  
  
"Enterprises?" Almost instantaneously a crest shaped with the initials "L" and "O" encircling a glaive flittered into her mind. The corporation was one of the most widely known electronics company on Mars. She had never paid much attention to the many advertisements for the corporation, its birth near to that of the demon inside her.  
  
  
  
He nodded. "The main branch is located on Mars. Its fifty-seven floors of offices with directors, assistants, and the aspiring."  
  
  
  
Silence cast its shadow over them, while he paused as if waiting for her to speak. "Lilan is your target." Eyes a void, she watched him retrieve a handful of wrinkled papers from his back pockets. "These are guard changes, camera locations, blueprints of every accessible area to make your job easier. The payment will be delivered just like the last time."  
  
  
  
Except for the gentle rustling of the leaves and sand that the wind stirred, the ruins were silent. Beside her, Giles was beginning to breathe heavily, his large white-green eyes darting left and right as he apparently searched for whatever he thought was lurking in the crumbling mass around them.  
  
  
  
  
  
The papers were pulled from his hands, her face remaining cool and distant while she fingered between them to verify his claim.  
  
  
  
"Can I ask you a question?"  
  
  
  
  
  
No longer than a second her eyes rested on him, before flicking back to the wrinkled pages that she was skimming, her usual technique of discouraging conversation. "You can ask." Faye deadpanned. "But it doesn't mean I'll answer."  
  
  
  
"Of course." She could hear something scuffling before he finally spoke. "Why do you need the money if you don't have wants anymore?"  
  
  
  
Inwardly she smiled, low and masochist. The more money she could acquire, the easier it would be for her to disappear from existence like a submarine underneath the sea's dark waters, but like any ship she would have to surface sometime, or at least until she could find a way to disappear entirely.  
  
  
  
Mind blanking, she found her vision focusing on the strange air around her; her own emptiness. "To disappear."  
  
  
  
"Only magicians can disappear, and fools are those who try."  
  
  
  
Faye met his gaze squarely, her expressionless shells slicing into his in silent threat. About to make comment, the sudden beeping of her communicator ended the thoughts.  
  
  
  
Seconds later she was staring at Spike inside the Swordfish II on the small screen. She didn't have to study him to see the anger that his voice easily screamed, or catch the agitated glitter in his foreign eyes. "Where the hell are you?"  
  
  
  
Instinctively she fought to cover the emptiness with anything that could possibly hide the void that was constantly growing, chewing its way to the surface. "That's for me to know and you to wonder." She smiled darkly, something that she could remember doing on the Bebop several times.  
  
  
  
He growled, body slouching closer to the screen. "I don't have time for your games!" For a moment he stared at her, eyes daring her to challenge him. "I found something. Meet me out front of the Plymouth Museum in Lasant, in an hour."  
  
  
  
Eyes averting from the screen she rubbed at the back of her neck. "It may take longer."  
  
  
  
  
  
"Just be there!" The words had barely escaped the transmission's closing.  
  
  
  
  
  
Time had passed since the days that she would've glared at the device, cursing it for actually allowing him the last word, or even calling him back just to terrorize him before he could hang up on her, but instead she simply dropped the small transmitter into her pocket. Turning back towards Giles' she was already preparing herself for a question that the air couldn't provide, since it was the only thing present.  
  
  
  
He was gone.  
  
  
  
The wind stirred her hair, itching to run away with the charcoal strands. Grains of sand scraped against her, a light burn that disappeared with the breeze. It had disappeared like the man who had only minutes ago been in front of her.  
  
  
  
He had left her alone in the silence of the ruins' death. Alone amongst the emptiness.  
  
  
  
Alone with herself.  
  
  
  
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It was a building of death.  
  
  
  
Inside were the remains of everything that had died, caught in time's grasp, or destroyed by others. Each frozen in an image conjured from a mind that like them would one day be plucked from the great loom of life. It was the one place that death lived, and here she had proven its life only two months earlier.  
  
  
  
Three old fashioned brick floors, stood ahead of her, the faint scent of death lingering in the air around it. This time, she noticed the trees and flowers planted around the outside that bloomed despite the treacherous force.  
  
  
  
Faye stood on the grass a few yards away from the wall, vaguely listening to the young woman that was relaying to her and Spike, all which was known about the murder a few weeks earlier. Her eyes focused intently on the window three floors above the ground. Its lines of cement mocking the memories from her night visit.  
  
  
  
"That's the window he entered through."  
  
  
  
The window was shut, two dark shadows expanding from one side to the other, probably baring it closed. Funny, how the bars had never been used until after they would've proved useful.  
  
  
  
"It's really hard to believe that he could climb up there and sneak in without the cameras or the security guards spotting him." Annoyed sigh. "I still say he's got help, but the I.S.S.P. wouldn't have any of it."  
  
  
  
"No," She gave a sideways glance to Spike who was examining the upper floors of the building, as he spoke. "He's a one man show. He wouldn't chance having a partner turn him in."  
  
  
  
Partners were a liability.  
  
  
  
Of course there was always the chance that a partner would turn her in for money, or allow themselves to be caught, but she had never really dwelled on that thought.  
  
  
  
A partner would eventually leave. Sometimes it was overnight without anyone knowing, or sometimes during crucial moments that would leave one at risk, but sometimes a partner would walk out in front of their ally, despite whatever pleas the other would attempt.  
  
  
  
Yes, partners were an emotional liability, and she had severed all emotions from herself two years ago that fateful night after her departure.  
  
  
  
Faye thrust the thoughts aside, pulling in the words of the smaller pouting woman. "Well I still say it's damn near impossible to get in without help."  
  
  
  
All it had taken was watching the window for a week to know when it was opened to air out the room. The real trick had been finding some place to hide until the building was closed to the public and only a certain upper level employee had stayed to work over time.  
  
  
  
"Where are the cameras from here?" The beginnings of silver clouds were already forming around Spike as his lighter flicked closed.  
  
  
  
The woman's almond shaped dark eyes nodded towards the left. "There," A gesture to the right, located the other camera. "And there," She slumped, her blond hair cascading over the drooping shoulders.  
  
  
  
Green, dark and alive flapped in the breeze around the camera to Faye's left, nearly concealing the object.  
  
  
  
She had overlooked the camera, assuming that there had only been leaves. Had she been able to sneak in without being detected only knowing of one camera's whereabouts? "What about that one? It didn't get anything?"  
  
  
  
Another sigh seeped from the worker's lips. "No. Sure the camera's move on slightly different intervals, but the time that neither of them are focusing on this wall is so small, you'd have to be in pretty good shape or have help to get in that fast." She moaned overdramatically. "That's what I've been trying to tell you guys."  
  
  
  
"Thanks, but this is starting to get boring." The moist grass squished beneath Spike's feet as he left the two.  
  
  
  
Faye ignored him, eyes still locked on the camera that she had been able to sneak by without even trying. Maybe Lady Luck didn't despise her after all; hell she had probably just flipped a coin.  
  
  
  
A few brisk steps and she had already caught up to Spike who was mumbling under his breath. "Just like hackers."  
  
  
  
The words triggered a memory, and she found herself questioning. "You still have to have action before you'll work?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah, how about you?"  
  
  
  
Her mind played over the words, and smiled, although it may have seemed as half a grimace, her lips no longer familiar with the twist. "Yeah. I find myself some action here and there."  
  
  
  
  
  
************************************************************************  
  
  
  
The sky had fallen while space thrust herself downward upon the ship like a room around a dreamer rousing. A shadow had hovered over the comm. link since their departure. The only sounds were that of the gentle hum of the Redtail's engine and the meaningless whispers of Faye's own mind.  
  
  
  
In front of her the Swordfish II was a crimson beacon of obligation, searing through the unending darkness. The cloud lifted, a gold light flickering on the panel to her left, Spike's voice playing over the speaker. "Jet told me." The words ended, but the gold light continued to parade the connection. "He told me everything."  
  
  
  
She didn't need to search her memory for the subject that he spoke of. It was a conversation that she had planned never to have. A buffer between her and the emotions that could occur rose, its job to absorb all, so different from that of murderous demon she held inside. All false pretense of her old self was pulled from her tongue by the buffer. "There isn't anything to say about it."  
  
  
  
"So leaving helped you to get over it?"  
  
  
  
"Did it you?" The words following were so dull and lifeless, but yet filled with so much meaning. "That's just it Spike . . . .you never get over it. You just get use to living without."  
  
  
  
In absence of a voice the comm. crackled its annoyance. Faye settled into the raspy silence, waiting for a snappy reply, but the one she received was similar to the last one so long ago. It was a truth told in the most unlikely moment.  
  
  
  
"I watched her die." A slow intake of breath passed through the speaker. "She. . . . . Julia, she died in my arms . . . . . and I couldn't do a damn thing about it."  
  
  
  
"I killed him and shut myself off from everything." His words had grown distant as though he were reveling in his own private hell. "This was suppose to have been my home I could return to, but.I wonder if something's changed."  
  
  
  
The buffer quivered.  
  
  
  
He was sharing with her the most private pieces of his life. It was those things that he always labeled "Confidential."  
  
  
  
Whispers in her mind called for a reply. "Spike, you of all people should know not to hold onto the past." A dull roar broke through the inner walls of her mind. "Say goodbye to yesterday." The roar thickened, causing her vision to sway as the escaping unnamed emotions were dragged inside, nails clawing the tunnel walls.  
  
  
  
Faye lounged in the seat, her eyes watching the topaz flickering of light on the control panel.  
  
  
  
FLASH. Pause. FLASH. Pause. FLASH. FLASH.  
  
  
  
The tiny light's rhythmic beat suddenly meriting annoyance.  
  
  
  
"Isn't.." The words ended abruptly. Two silver streaks blared through the darkness between the Redtail and Swordfish II.  
  
  
  
Automatically she leaned forward, hands grasping the levers, eyes searching the black abyss for the source of the attack.  
  
  
  
"Made some friends while waiting for you." The transmitter emitted the battle readying words.  
  
  
  
The Redtail surged forward, thrusters reversing direction to make an accurate shot more difficult. Silver flashes rained around her, its origins soaring over head. Faye found herself watching the gray ship disappear above. "That one's mine."  
  
  
  
"Right."  
  
  
  
The engine roared to life, propelling her after the younger ship. Ahead of her it danced around the window, darting outside her targeting area. "Almost there."  
  
  
  
Her hands tightened on the levers, firing sprays that were always one step behind. She gave chase with each turn the ship made. A final spin brought her barreling into another shower of silver.  
  
  
  
"Both are on you, Faye!"  
  
  
  
She had become the target, expertly flipping the Redtail between the rain of fire. The second ship fell into pursuit, main cannon firing. A few clicks deploying her flares drawing the missiles away, each exploding on contact with the fireballs. The ship rocked as a stray missile passed between the arm and main hull.  
  
  
  
Reversing around to return fire, a stray bullet struck the left gun arm. A dark puff spread from the machine, the sudden explosion pitching Faye forward.  
  
  
  
"Faye, get out of there!"  
  
  
  
Her eyes lifted, the first ship now hovering in front of her like the reaper himself. She released control of the ship, defeat flooding the air around her.  
  
  
  
Three silver tears streaked towards her, and the craft rocked wildly.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
On the count of three I want everyone to say "Aw." One. Two. Three. "AWWWWWW." Yep, Kyra put in a somewhat of a heart to heart. I wonder what's to become of our beloved Faye? ^_^ I'm gonna get started on the next chapter right now so that I can make up for the huge delay and have one out really quick. I absolutely despise my entire fight in space scene. I wasn't too sure on what to do, so that's kind of what came out, and I don't have a beta reader.^_^ I just let my big bro read over them sometimes and he's not too happy about helping me, and after I helped HIM! 


	9. Escaping Reality: Part A

_**Portrait of a Shattered Woman**_

**Chapter 8**

_**Escaping Reality: Part A  
  
**_"_I wasn't aware that you were considered innocent." – Spike Spiegal  
  
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Swiftly.

_The world passed by in streaks of colors._

_  
  
It had to be quick or she'd back out._

_  
  
The building was large with wooden double doors and brass knockers. _

_  
  
They were easy to pick._

_  
  
She shuffled inside, feet stumbling over the carpeted foyer._

_  
  
The air was cold. _

_  
  
It took a moment in the darkness for her to locate the double spiral staircase that was to lead her upstairs. _

_  
  
The heaviness in her legs was only becoming apparent as she neared the final step._

_  
  
Another set of double doors hovered behind the top step, a sliver of blessed golden light slipped through a crack._

_  
  
Nearly silent she crept towards them, the air becoming stale and difficult to fill her lungs._

_  
She forced the air through her nose. She forced the air to ease her nerves._

_  
And she pressed her eye to the crack . . ._

x x x x x x x x x x x x x  
  
Her mind plunged through an array of gold and silver flashes that left her in the Redtail to be thrown about in the ship's violent shudders. The monitors flashed in bright shades of red and orange, while a chorus of alarms blended with the sudden ache in her head and the gritting sound of tearing metal.  
  
Faye's fingers flew across the control panel, running a few systems analyses, each check highlighting a list of damaged systems. Her eyes didn't waver at the results; instead they shifted upward readying for another advance.

The other ship had disappeared. "Yo'r..ou...f pra...ice." The damaged comm clipped at each word, only half understandable syllables slipping through its constant crackle. Although the message was garbled, it was clearly Spike. A hand thrust down across the blinking light. "Saw you the first time." 

The throttle tilting forward to nearly max, she was once again in control of the ship. It surged forward, propelling itself back towards the skirmish. The hum of the engine was soon joined by a clicking sound that was becoming more apparent with each rap.

Slowing, the ship began to rattle. An explosion on the main hull thrust the ship ahead, tail swinging around to its side. Her body strained against the belt as it jolted to a stop.

Another more prominent light joined the chaos of flashing colors around her. Its two yellow words seared through the confusion of blurring colors.

Master Alarm.

In gold letters that matched the alarm, the main screen began to scroll through a list of problems, the words unreadable. The light danced over her cheekbones, set high in her almost tired face, creating hollows of inky shadows beneath the bones.

Faye tapped on the gauges, unsure if the power loss was actually a fuel leak. She switched to auxiliary power, the propulsion system only sputtering in return.

"Of course this would happen." The woman deadpanned while feather light fingers flicked across the panel, rerouting power from minor systems to the thrusters.

"Wha..s...th...ho..d... u....."

Flicking an unreadable look to the transmitter, she pressed one final button. Around her the Redtail roared back to life and shot forward with frightening speed. Faye twisted in the cockpit, eyes glittering cold as ice while searching for the other ships. They quickly locked on to the crafts, barely catching glimpse of the stray missile that passed through her previous position.

Ahead of her, the tattered remains of the silver ship now fanned out amongst space. Surprisingly the unidentifiable materials still managed to retain a ghost of their original shape. A corner of her lip upturned at the grave, pleased that her attacker had already been dealt with, but disappointed it wasn't her who had delivered the punishment.

The Redtail continued forward, approaching the sleeker red vessel that Spike was commanding. A long rod had extended from beneath its nose in preparation to fire the Swordfish's most powerful weapon, the plasma cannon.

"I _do _get one." Faye spoke flatly into the transmitter as she steered her ship to intercept Spike and take over the chase. Closing in the distance, the screen flashed her weapons ready.

It was her last missile, but it would find its target, even if it wasn't the one who had struck her.  
  
Unexpectedly the fleeing ship changed direction, now barreling towards her, neither her nor it slowing down.

The transmitter emitted static, but this time she didn't try to decipher any words from within its strange code, her attention transfixed on the gray devil that was advancing.

CLICK

Nothing happened.

The devil was still coming, and nothing had happened. The letters, "ERR-MALF" laughed at her from on the control panel.

Malfunction?

Her grip tightened on the control levers. Lady Luck helps her out once then abandons her again. How fickle.

Veering left to keep from colliding with the other ship, Faye caught sight of the Swordfish lowering in beside her, cannon extended. In a brilliant flash of light the plasma cannon fired. With its pieces scattering like its comrade, the other ship exploded in a flurry of orange.

The yellow communication light flashed once again as she allowed herself to slip further into the chair, eyes languidly flipping over it and the laughing voice within. "Al....ys......cau...g.....pr..b..ems...."  
  
x x x x x x x x x x x x

_The light was all around her, and she could see nothing.  
_

_Slowly there were blurry shapes, and then it softened.  
_

_Inside was a study. Desk, sofa and filing cabinet, but none of these were important._

_  
There was a man digging through the cabinet.  
_

_She was chained in place, her feet no longer cooperating, but for small faltering steps. Almost to the carpet._

_The man turned._

_  
She froze._

_  
Motioning for her to take a seat, he smiled. _

_  
  
She remained in place.  
  
A businessman that worked at home; would killing him be any different than shooting a bounty?  
  
He asked again.  
  
She'd shot several bounties, would this be any different? Would it feel the same?  
  
She forced the air through her nose. She forced the air to fill her lungs. It was cold, and she remained in place.  
  
A hand pressed lightly on her shoulder. When had he approached her?  
  
Involuntarily her lips had moved. He laughed. She drew her gun.  
  
And there was a businessman stumbling backwards, crawling on the ground "negotiating" for his life, but remaining unheard._ _  
  
She forced the air through her nose. She forced the air to fill her lungs. It was cold.  
A bounty, it had to feel the same.  
  
The light was all around her, and she could see only him.  
  
Then suddenly the pistol had burned heavy in her hand. She stared into his pleading eyes, and raised the weight in her hands.  
  
It was cold.  
  
x x x x x x x x x x x _

"Face it Faye, I saved your ass, again." Faye's deep green eyes were as thunderous and stormy as the sky as she stood underneath the arm of the Redtail, listening to her old friend, a cigarette dancing on his thin lips as he spoke. "There's no getting around it."

If he had saved her, then why was her ship in such a mess?

It was sitting in the hanger with a certain smugness that seemed directed at her. Everything about the ship from its broken arm to the shattered metal of its hull appeared to gloat at Faye, teasing her about the hard work she had endured to upgrade it that now rested in near ruin.

"Does it matter?" She asked calmly, eyes glinting with a strange emotion.

Spike leaned stiffly against the side of his ship, cinnamon eyes filled with amusement. "Aren't you the one that's always keeping count?" "Of the times that _I_ did the saving." 

"Still on one hand, right?"

"You need to work on controlling your pride." Heedless of whatever words were going to follow she had spoke over her shoulder, legs already carrying her towards one of the supply tables. Having little experience in repairing her ship, Faye sifted through the tools her slender fingers tossing aside those that she couldn't remember ever having seen in Jet's hand, dark strands of her hair brushed whispers against her face in the process.

The air warmed with the smell of smoke and liquor, a sign that Spike had followed. The table quivered under his added weight while he leaned from his seat on the edge to watch her, disbelief evident in his eyes.  
  
With a thin metal rod with one square end and two protruding claws in hand, she paused and stared out at him through the corner of her eyes. "Don't you have anything better to do?" 

"No." He answered, voice lilting in an almost secretive dance.

It took a moment for her to decide if the item in her hand was useful. Assuming it was, she laid it aside and continued to sort through the tools. "I'm going to fix her up." 

"You mean you're actually going to do the repairs?" Disbelief and surprise from his face mingled with the humor in his voice.

Faye crossed her arms in a haughty appearance. "I see that your getting killed didn't do anything to improve your like of pestering innocent bystanders."

"I wasn't aware that you were considered innocent."

Something in the depths of her stirred, and what almost appeared as a smile, tugged at her lips. "Some days more than others."

Expertly maintaining hold on his cigarette he grinned back. "Too bad the others are outnumbered."

"I've got to find my entertainment somehow." The upward curl in her lip began to spread, and she forced her attention back to the tools, already fighting the infection, but the sudden appearance of a hand brought everything to a halt. Faye stared blankly at the object Spike held to her, eyes flicking to the owner of the hand extended before reluctantly accepting the tool.

"Which is exactly why I don't plan to leave."

Faye lifted her eyes from the tools a strange emotion flickering within their mossy depths. "Because you're innocent?" she asked, one corner of her mouth curling upward in what suspiciously felt like another smile.

Fighting to contain the escaping emotions, she turned away missing the way Spike's eyes practically bugged out of his head at her question. "Entertainment." He corrected from over her shoulder.

"In that case . . ." She stepped around him, the tools and her ship forgotten in a sudden rush of panic. She needed to escape. She needed time to mend the gaps in her crumbling barriers before they could spread into large gaping holes.  
  
Faye stalked to the door leading into the heart of the Bebop. Just as she reached out to open the steel door, it rolled to the side on its own accord. Leaping from within the heart of the ship, two golden eyes accompanied an equally golden girl whose words flew from her mouth in a silvery manner. "Ed carries special message from Jet-person."  
  
She looked Ed over, waiting for the girl to deliver her message, but Spike wasn't as patient and had already arrived beside her. "What have you got Ed?"  
  
The girl waved wildly, her arms flapping like a kite in the wind. "Faye-Faye and Spike-person need to see something! Come here!"  
  
Faye followed the two into the main room of the Bebop, where Jet was lost in the news. He dropped his eyes over to face them only for a moment, and then pointed at the screen. "Its on every channel."  
  
The woman lowered herself to the arm of the sofa while watching the images on the screen. Two I.S.S.P. officers were leading a man across a parking lot, their hands holding his wrists where he was most likely cuffed. The camera shook as the voice over returned. "It is quite a turn of events. The man responsible for the capture stated that he happened to stumble upon a strange man with the security system blueprints to the building behind me."  
  
Slowly, the camera zoomed out, allowing a woman in her mind forties with dark hair peppered with gray onto the corner of the screen. "Locals of the area are shocked that their neighbor would be the man many have searched for. Although the I.S.S.P. have taken over the investigation, the bounty hunter who was responsible for the capture has yet to make a statement. For those of you who are just joining us, moments ago the mercenary known only as 'Raven' was reprimanded in the building behind me."  
  
Beside her Spike drew a quick breath, his eyes never leaving the screen, while Jet cursed under his breath. Faye only stared at the screen, whoever had been captured had now made things simpler for her. She was free to leave the Bebop at anytime, and continue with the life that she had created.  
  
"Wait just a moment!" The reporter clasped her ear, straining to hear the words that were being fed to her. "It seems that the man responsible for Raven's..." The woman's words trailed off as she turned, dashing off screen to the left, the camera a moment later following suit, however, only catching the bottom of her purple skirt and black heels that clicked across the pavement.

"Sir! Excuse me sir! Just one moment!" Many pairs of feet added to the screen, and then in a blur the camera returned to the graying haired woman that was leaning over a circle of men. The crowd parted slightly by two officers that stood shouldering a fair-haired man with a strange scar that stretched across his neck. There was something strange about this man with blond hair that grazed his shoulders.... something familiar.  
  
"Please sir!" The disfigured man pointed to a young round reporter with a deep voice that overshadowed those around him. "Can you tell us what exactly brought you to the conclusion that Yuri Flac was the mercenary known as Raven?"  
  
The man shifted uneasily then lifted his chin proudly. "I first became suspicious of the time's that I ever saw him, but it wasn't until this evening when I found him outside the Carroll Complex with the security blue prints that I realized who he really was."  
  
All of the reporters broke into a frenzy reaching and flashing pictures, as they all fought to be the next to ask a question. This time the man pointed to the pepper haired woman in purple, who quickly brushed passed the others so as to have a better view. "Other than your own suspicions has there been any confirmation that Mr. Flac is indeed the Raven?"  
  
The men and women around her silenced to hear the man's response. "I've followed all reports on your show to know just how many murders have been labeled his as well as how many has been suspected but unproven, without those alone he has killed over fifty people." 

Something so familiar.

"I found this man with the blueprints to a building as well as later finding papers linking him to the most recent homicides." Straitening himself to add to his height, the man's voice dropped, full of frost and thunder that commanded all to obey.  
  
This familiar man had saved her from so much, but condemned another man for her crimes.  
  
"Ma'am this man admitted to the murder of over fifty people, and yet you ask me if he is really the Raven? I hope he burns in hell for all the pain he's caused." Ashen eyes glared down at the woman who visibly shrunk into the crowd. "No more questions." He stalked away the other reporters chasing after him despite his declaration, while the woman struggled to regain her composure.

In a place with less light, more smoke, and gambling he would have resembled . . .

"It seems that we cannot disagree with this." Her face rosed and her fingers wound themselves in her hair. "Harris Resident Yuri Flac has been confirmed as the mercenary killer 'Raven' by the deeds of one man known as Achilles Wenglow."

Achilles. She had worried about Spike finding a trail to her and asked around for information on herself. She had asked Achilles, did that mean that Yuri Flac was...

"Damn!" Spike groaned from the wall behind her. "There goes our hefty bounty and actual food."

From her right Jet shrugged, his feet finding their way beneath him and lifting him from the couch. "You don't like the food, then don't eat. It's one less mouth to feed."

Faye stretched her lips, the forced smile feeling more like a grimace as she continued the tease. "It was so much easier after you left." 

She listened for an answer, but felt the air move and the warmth of his breath against her ear as he spoke in a whisper. "You know I think they got it wrong." He laughed low in his throat, nodding towards the news that was no longer warranting attention. "The Raven's right here next to me, and I'm sure you killed those men with your '**sparkling**' personality."

For a moment she sat there, listening to his breathing as he waited for her to snap at him with a short thought out claim, then some part of Faye that still remained broke into laughter. On the last pieces of herself and sanity, she laughed at the accusation, knowing all to well how near to the truth it was. Moments later, Spike laughed too and together they sat sharing in the hilarity of the accusation. 

The woman silenced her jade eyes returning to the screen that was replaying footage of the prisoner being removed from the complex. The weeks ahead were going to be interesting. Someone was going to be executed. Someone. Anyone to satisfy the people's hunger for a happy ending, but in real life there were no happy endings.

At least the bounty on her head would disappear.  
  
x  
  
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x

**Author's Note**: I do hope that it wasn't too much of a disappoint after the delay and I hope to have the second half of this chapter out soon being that I skipped ahead and wrote most since I was having severe issues with a part in here. I don't mean for this to be so dark, it just is how it's writing itself. As always critical feedback and comments are welcome. As everyone knows, I'm delighted at any feedback.


	10. Escaping Reality: Part B

_**Portrait of a Shattered Woman**_

**Chapter 8**

_**Escaping Reality: Part B**_

"_Dead end or shall we climb the walls now?" – Faye Valentine  
  
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_The room roared around her. She needed to get out. She needed to get away, anywhere, as long as she was away from there._

_She commanded herself to move. She commanded her legs to run, take her somewhere far away, but her body rebelled. She tried to be strong, but her legs gave beneath her._

_It sprawled in front of her._

_She kicked at it. She kicked to push the faceless, lifeless thing away. Pressing herself to the corner wall, she pulled her legs that had failed her in two respects to her chest and cried._

_It wasn't the same._

_What had she done?_

_It wasn't the same.  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

The woman lifted to her toes and peered through the small window atop the metal security door labeled thirty-four. The hall was clear, but she was all too aware of the inconsistencies of first impressions. Faye rolled back to her heels and dropped her gaze to her watch, where the final digit shifted so that "11:59" stared back at her.

It was almost time.

Her escape as well as her anonymity depended on this job. She could not afford any mistakes no matter how small. Though, there was one factor that would play to her advantage, the man captured in her place. The night's deed would not be among those listed beneath Raven, but just another statistic collecting dust in the I.S.S.P. files labeled Homicide.

Unconsciously Faye's eyes slipped back down to her watch where the numbers remained unchanged. In less than a minute the security doors would unlock so that the patrolling security guards could change floors. It was that patrol that could cost her everything. Resting her weight on her toes, she risked a glance through the face size window, willing herself to match the halls and the adjoined rooms on the other side with the blueprints she had memorized.

Again, jade eyes lowered to her watch where the final digit rolled forward and midnight with all its morose glory lowered on the stairwell. For a moment there was nothing but the heavy breathes of silence, then the corridor filled with the echoes of bolts retracting from the security doors marking each floor.

The door edged open, but not without a dizzying amount of effort. Its heavy frame pressed into her left shoulder while she instinctively checked the hall for movement. Deciding it was empty, she stepped inside allowing the large door to slide back to its resting place, where it announced its annoyance with a resound crack.

Her body tensed at the sound. Through its half-lit window, the security door seemed to wink at her. Faye stood unmoving, searching the rasp of silence for a falter in its off-key symphony. The silence droned on untouched.

Before her a hallway stretched gray and unyielding in the lightless building. Never disturbing the soundless symphony, she moved through the building, legs hurrying to match pace with her mind that spoke of hallways and room numbers.

The wall to her left had become glass from her waist to nearly the roof. Behind it lay a room highlighted only by the occasional flicker of a light hidden behind a ceiling panel. Unable to distinguish any objects amongst the masses of shadows she moved on amongst rows of identical black doors lining both sides of the corridor where the same long windows spanned the distance between. Faye slowed by one such window. Inside the room was glowing a deep green as though a child's nightlight remained forgotten inside, soft but dark. Longer than it was wide, the room had a narrow table stretching across its center. Labeled bottles pressed against each other in the wooden shelf built above a cabinet on the wall.

Turning to continue onward, her vision was caught by something she had overlooked. A cylindrical container sat on the corner of the table, a cloudy substance concealed its odd shaped contents. A white cursor flashed on the black screen of the small laptop beside the container, awaiting commands from its owner who undoubtedly was near.

Her watch beeped. Faye was pulled from her thoughts of the abandoned computer, glancing to her sides, pressing herself to the wall as if someone was approaching.

When it was clear no one was coming, she continued down the hall until it opened into a wider room. She slowed. Three other halls junctioned into the area. To her left, built into the opening was an office, the side facing her entirely made of glass. A small dark keypad was built into the steal rimmed edge of the door that's center was made of the same glass as the walls.

Faye moved to the door, eyes ever watchful of the shadows that could produce guards. A slip of paper and a small flashlight were produced from her coat pocket. She read the numbers on the paper once. Twice. Then she punched in the code and waited as the door shifted in its frame, knowing this was a moment in which the old Faye would have winked to herself.

The building had been built with a clever mind to minimize the need for security, difficult to reach the top floor unnoticed, though not impossible. Four stairways and two elevators led to the forty-ninth floor, though only one flight of stairs located in the center of last accessible floor lead to the fiftieth. The only times the door was unlocked security guards would be nearby.

She stared up at the ventilation duct above the desk centered boldly in the middle of the room. It would be the only way to avoid the guards without a diversion. Faye stepped atop the table, sticking the end of the flashlight in her mouth, and slipped her fingers into the vent grate. She yanked, but nothing happened. She tried again, the metal slips digging into her fingers, but it remained in place. This time she pushed, the vent bending slightly beneath her, but still stubbornly refusing to move as it made squeaking noises of laughter.

White light, bright and horribly pristine began to grow in the hall. Faye pressed again, this time more urgently, slapping one hand against it. The grate remained in place.

Faye leapt from the table, moving towards the wall bordering the hall. Only a few steps away from the table one heeled boot caught the other. Feet flying out from beneath her, she spilled painfully on the carpeted floor and watched as the flashlight, free of her lips, bounced underneath the desk leaving a trail of batteries. Knowing it was too late to retrieve the flashlight she pulled herself up, crossed the room in three steps and seated herself to the side of a file cabinet against the wall that separated the office from the rooms in the hall, knees drawn to her chin.

His shoes clicked suddenly loud on the linoleum floor of the hallway. A beam of light flooded through the glass burning away at the darkness. It moved slowly from one corner to the other, nearing her position. Faye pulled at her ankles trying to ensure that the tips of her boots were covered by the cabinet's small figure while mentally reprimanding herself for not being as flexible as she once was. The light rolled over the cabinet casting its shadow on the wall. She dared not move, ignoring the cramping in her leg the muscles knotted themselves further.

The light remained focused in the room.

Faye inched forward, head beginning to lean so that she could peek around the deep gray of the cabinet.

Something moved.

It was to her left.

Several times she blinked trying to form a coherent thought. It was . . . bizarre, to say the least. She squat there peering awkwardly up at the wall, wondering what the hell was going on.

Dark shapes leapt across the wall, small and clumsy, but by god, shadow puppets none the less. One of her dark eyebrows quirked. This was the part where she would usually erupt in laughter and begin a stream of insults, but it was just too . . . bizarre. At the top of the wall a dog was chasing a cat, stopping long enough to mark a painting in its territory.

"What ARE you doing?"

Lightning fast the light and shadow puppets were gone. A second voice began, lighter than the first. "I-uh...well you see there's-"

"No man." The first began again. "I don't really want to know."

Someone sighed then it was the second again. "I-I'd better make my rounds." The click of shoes returned to the air, probably that of both men. "So what's with the extra security?"

The voices had grown distant as though she were hearing them through the opposite end of a cave. "Don't know. Heard the management's been worried. . ."

Faye teetered forward on her toes, peering around the cabinet to catch a glimpse of the two guards halfway down the hall strait ahead. Their words were no longer understandable just a deep echoing mumble. Deciding they were far enough away not to discover her, she stood slowly having to keep her legs half bent to ignore the throbbing in her knees that waved into her calves. She retrieved the flashlight and batteries beneath the desk, stuffing in her coat pocket before climbing up to the vent. This time, when she pressed against the grate it lifted beneath her hands, no longer a trouble. However, the problem soon became how even with the added height from her heeled boots could she pull herself up, resulting in her nearly flipping herself upside down to throw her legs up onto the opposite side of the vent.

One of the batteries slipped from her pocket, narrowly missing the smooth skin of her left cheek as it fell to patter on the desk before bouncing on the floor and tapping against the glass wall. Where the battery had passed through the air a crumpled slip of paper floated, dancing about in excitement of its escapement.

"Go on! I'll catch up. Just gotta take a piss!"

Hollow eyes switched between the object on the floor by the door and the hallway where the guard, back to her, was waving the other at the end of the hall to go on. She couldn't leave the paper. She needed it to get out, but the building would return to complete lockdown in only a few minutes. The vent scraped across the inside of the shaft with a series of grinding noises before falling into place over the room, Faye having made her decision. She would get it on her way out.

It was smaller than expected, only enough room for her to lie flat in. She'd always expected from the movies she had seen that the vent would be large enough for her to crawl on her knees in. It seemed that movies always got things wrong. Faye slid herself through the dark shaft, each rap of her hands on the metal infinitely louder in the echoing around her.

It was funny how things changed. Spike and Jet were always claiming that she had been sloppy and left a trail, or rambling on about how it was a wonder she ever caught a bounty without their help. Now, they were searching for her, the one bounty that no one could find or had ever laid eyes on, and lived to tell about it. A part of her, something deep within her wanted to laugh, bristle even at the thought that they had always called her careless. She was taking so much care. This was something that had to be done properly, she couldn't afford to be careless during something this difficult. Another part of her almost smiled at the challenge. Of course, this was difficult, but this was still only minor compared to some of her more . . . "exotic" experiences.

Her breasts scrubbed against something sharp as another grate came into view, soft light piercing through its cracks like the sun through water. This was her exit. She lifted the grate and slipped through, landing at bottom of a set of stairs. She took them two at a time, fast at first; slowing as she realized that the architect had attempted to see just how many steps he could place in the area. Rounding a corner she knew he had achieved his goal. Faye finally reached the landing, the final door looming gray before her. She pulled her gun from its place in the inside pocket, pressing it to her chest as she maneuvered to open the door. The surroundings were suddenly becoming more crisp, awareness of everything growing as the remainder of her old self was sealed away and the mercenary known only as the Raven burst through the door into the office, gun extended before her.

It was large, two desks, boxes in the corners, she sliced it from her mind since it didn't matter. The lamp on the desk was on, but it didn't matter and was sliced from thought as well. Instead, she focused on the man standing behind it, back turned hands clasped together behind his back as he watched the night sky through the entirely glass wall. "I wondered how long it would be before they sent you."

Her finger twitched over the trigger, though she said nothing.

"I guess it was only a matter time before they sent someone." With agonizing slowness, as though he were underwater the man whose last name was Lilan turned to face her. There were a few wrinkles, she would have guessed late forties early fifties. His thick lips rolled upwards. "Didn't expect him to send someone famous."

Lilan just stared at her, hazel eyes flickering with something between anger and sadness. The woman made no reply just continued her steady gaze at the man, his persistent stare never waving even as she kept on staring, unmoved by his anxious acknowledgment. The silence droned on. She had no words for him, though her finger refused to the pull the trigger. He knew.

"Are you not going to shoot me? It is what you do best, after all."

Silence, then came Raven's raspy voice. "I do nothing."

He laughed. "It's an interesting bird, the raven is. It doesn't have a beautiful song. Its plain, blends in with everything. A difficult one to catch, but you and I both know that's not really why it's your name. Isn't that right Faye Valentine?"

There was no fear, just a strange sensation in the back of her mind saying that this was not right. She willed her finger to move, to pull the trigger. It was easy. It was a simple task, but her finger refused. Her flat voice came, softer than she had anticipated. "How do you know my name?"

Lilan continued talking, there was no sign her had heard her. "They're not even too vital. All they do is watch the dead. They're the eyes of death, you know." He sighed, head shaking slowly as he ran a hand along his chin. "And now the eyes of death are watching me . . . should've known."

Eyes of death? She ignored it, voice still neutral, though louder this time as she spoke the words slower. "How do you know my name?"

"Faye, Faye, Faye Valentine." There was something strange in his eyes hazel eyes almost a mad, desperate glint. "Valentine...My Valentine..." Lilan turned, leaping, body crashing through the glass window, shards sparkling as it shattered and they flittered over the edge together. The woman hurried to the end of room, shards of glass crunching beneath her shoes as she craned to see over the edge.

Below, about fifteen feet down was a landing to a metal fire escape. Lilan had already lowered two landings. Raven lifted her gun, both hands clasping to help aim over the side of the building. She fired twice, both bullets cracking as they hit the landing and ricocheted into the darkness. Now three landings down, Lilan reflexively covered himself with his hands at the sound of the gun report, then paused his escape long enough to glance up at her. He locked eyes in a challenge and had the audacity to smile. A hand lifted and waved as he pursed his lips in a kiss goodbye to her. That was how the chase began.

Her response was to hop down onto the fire escape, gun in one hand as she began taking the stairs behind him. Several floors down she paused to watch the man leap from the rusted brown metal of the fire escape to a foot wide ledge on the side of the building. She leapt over the next few sets of stairs to the level he had jumped from.

It was mad. Even without her emotions, she knew that he was mad from fear. Adrenaline coursing his entirety, pushing him further, despite whatever reason may have had to say about it. He was entirely instinct and reaction. She knew. She was the same, only without the fear as the cause.

Raven threw one leg over the rail, then pulled the other over and flung her body into the air. Her face slammed against the concrete of the building causing her feet to sway on the ledge, the shuddering rising up through her legs so that her whole body wavered, arms flailing to regain balance. One hand reached forward grasping the nose of a lion carved out of the wall, steadying herself before climbing across its back to shuffle along the edge, eyes focused on the ridge beneath her that was almost invisible in the late hour of the night.

She reached the end of the wall, turning to follow around onto the other side barely in time to see Lilan leap the small alley below to the shorter building, almost twenty five feet down. He landed on his feet, though they gave beneath him, his body toppling over them. Slowly, he stood and leapt off the same edge, landing on the building's fire escape. The woman followed suit, hurrying to the larger area he had jumped from and stepped back dashing the few extra feet before jumping into the air. Like him, she landed off balance and tumbled across the roof, though she recovered quicker and began to close the distance between them.

Suddenly, she saw the man stop, froze, head lowered over the side of the railing, then he turned moving to the opposite side of the landing.

He had run out of room. The stairs had rusted off years ago.

Again the man glanced back at her, and then he leaned over the opening that would have lead to the ladder that would have lead down to the first set of stairs. He stepped through it, grabbing, as he fell, onto the side of the metal beam that had once supported the stairs and began to slide down. She stepped off the building, falling the short distance to the metal wired floor, and moved to follow him down the pole. She leapt.

She wasn't sure how long she held onto the pole, the world growing around her in a blur amongst the darkness as it bore into her palms and thighs undoubtedly sending ribbons of red spiraling. Her feet collided with another landing, though her legs were unprepared and gave beneath her. She sat there while only a foot away Lilan flipped himself artlessly over the railing, landing in a hapless, painful heap on the ground, where he lay gasping for breath before he stood, slipping and sliding across the slick pavement into the crowd of people.

Raven stood, ignoring the gashes on her left arm and leg and threw her body over the railing, air slapping her as she fell nearly three floors, body half rolling half bouncing off the front extension of the restaurant to the pavement. She stood, turning about to regain sight of Lilan. He was plowing upstream against the crowd of people wandering the streets, ignorant to the events unfolding. She burst after him, dodging the people, eyes locked between his shoulder blades, catching his eyes each time he turned long enough to see her.

She collided with a woman who began spurting out curses that were lost in the noise of the city as she ran onward, gradually pulling closer. She had not increased her speed.

They always thought they could escape. They always ran, though the predator, efficient as its job, would eventually catch up. No one could run forever. Those that were ignorant enough to try and fight the predator were always overpowered, their fear having crippled them. The predator always won.

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She pulled the gun across the floor to her side. It was the cause of her sickness. It was why she could barely breathe. It was why that thing . . . no, she couldn't look at it anymore. Those eyes, unflinching, locked on her. They were piercing her, judging her. _

_He had been a person once. He had had a family. He had been an eager father. He had been a brother looking out for his younger sisters. He had been a businessman. He had been . . . hehadhehadhehadhehad . . ._

_The gun was now resting in her lap. _

_She couldn't._

_They were unblinking._

_What had she done?_

_It wasn't the same. . .  
  
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In front of her Lilan turned, darting into one of the alleys, the sides of his blue suit's jacket billowing behind him. She mimicked, watching him turn down another as he reached the end of the first. She followed, coming to an abrupt halt just inside the new alley.

It was a dead end.

The predator always won.

Raven lifted her chin, hair flipping behind her ears as she threw her weight to one leg and propped a hand on her hip, gun held loosely in the hand hanging beside her slack leg. "Dead end, or shall we climb the walls now?"

The man's head kept darting about in the shadows, and she knew he was still searching for an escape, a hiding place, a weapon, anything that might prolong his life if only a few extra minutes.

They all stalled.

_The gun burned heavy in her hand. She couldn't lift it. _

"It was worth a try." Lilan grumbled turning to face her with pale narrowed eyes though perhaps only from despair. "How many more?"

She tapped the gun against her thigh, just to remind him it was still there. "What?"

"How many more till those eyes of yours have had their fill?

_The gun was heavy. Too heavy. It was so cold pressing beneath her chin._

Raven lifted the gun. "I don't know."

Lowering his head, his shoulders sagged in the dark and empty alley, utterly broken. The mysterious man with his arrogance that had taunted her, laughed at her identity was defeated. "They'll catch you, you know."

_Her eyes squeezed shut. There were tears on her lashes. The gun was shaking beneath her chin._

_She mumbled an apology._

She, too, had been a person once.

"You can't escape them." He shook his head, mumbling wildly, eyes flashing in the dim light, hoping to take pleasure in adding fear or anger to her in his last moments.

Stepping forward so that she could see him better in the dark, Raven spoke disinterestedly. "Haven't you seen the news? They already have."

_**BANG  
  
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It had been a lively place once. Now, it was dead. The Bebop seemed emptier, darker, more sullen then she had ever remembered it when she returned. The shadows were more ominous with a moaning silence more offsetting than the night's events.

She stepped into the room, body going rigid at the sight of Spike seated on her bed, staring at his hands. Immediately her face was plastered with an unreadable look, eyes closing off from the world around her. Faye leaned against the door frame, one hand on her hip in fake casualness though it could not soften the sudden tension.

The bed squeaked as Spike stood, moving towards the door, pausing long enough beside her to fix her with a steely mud colored eye where a swarm of expressions swam in murky waters. Faye didn't notice. Without a word the bounty hunter continued out the door, neither speaking. Someone else, anyone else would have shuddered under the look Spike had given her, though her eyes were locked on the envelope he dropped on the floor, from where on the pearly cover laughed a black bird.

He knew.

It was over.  
  
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**Author's Note**: Wow, so it's been a ridiculously long time since my last update to this. I know that no number of apologies can make up for it, though I am deeply sorry. My interest in this story had faded and I decided it best to take a break from it rather than force myself to work on it. Then we all would have suffered through terrible unthought out chapters and quick writing. Thankfully, the time off has been wonderful and I feel renewed and am able to continue. Sorry.

On a brighter note, I've taken several writing classes and am developing a new technique. Due to a "program" my teacher has introduced, I'm able to write better quality work in shorter time. It's a monkey mind vs. elephant mind kind of thing, so I hope to be able to make up for the lack of updates. By the way, the italicized writing is all flashbacks, er well she's not technically flashing back, but its about the same thing. This is a good chapter to pay attention to...hint hint, despite it being boring. Besides, LOL, The proverbial shit has hit the fan.

On a final note, I want to take just a minute to thank everyone for their support through this time. I can't thank you all enough for the kind words. I love you guys. And as always, critical feedback and general feedback are welcome. Seriously guys, I LOVE you. See I can be serious sometimes. :P


	11. Something Short of Family

**Portrait of a Shattered Woman**

**Chapter 9**

**Something Short of a Family**

_"Someone has to be the adult around here." - Jet Black_

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"You've really gone and done it this time!" Jet Black's thundering words could not pull her to even glance up at him; instead they forced her to focus more intently on the air between them, ignoring his heavy footsteps, a clomping testament of his anger. "You've finally gone and done it!"

Faye was no longer hearing the words he roared let alone understanding them. They had a meaning, though she couldn't find it. It was like groping around a dark attic for the table's edge, knowing it was there, and that if it wasn't found first then it was going to be a painful meeting. Each time she'd try to focus on the words to sort out their meaning, they'd just become more garbled, fading into a rising and falling roar like that of the angry ocean as it awaited a storm's arrival.

"What were you doing?" Jet flung himself into the chair across from her, shifting several times like a rattle on a snake, warning of the beast's lethalness, then snapped back to his feet – the forewarned strike. "What did you think you were doing? Did you _even_ think?"

Perched on the edge of the couch with a hand on each of her knees, Faye said nothing in her own defense, her eyes riveted on the air between them. Almost out of vision, to her left was the tall form of Spike with one hand in a pocket, he was propped against the wall as casually as the day they had quite seriously considered leaving Ed on Mars. His head was turned so that he was looking out the great window into the dark reflections of the water.

To anyone else, even herself, she couldn't have been real, just a malfunctioning hologram frozen in time. The feel of the air in her lungs and the occasional rise and fall of her eyelids were the only clues to her being real, physically. She didn't _feel_ real anymore. She knew. To be real one had to live and laugh and have thoughts and memories and love and cry and all resentful words that Jet could spit at her could not make her real for all those long months spent as an invisible woman for hire had bled the life from her.

In an instant a large hand slapped down on the back of the couch, despite the foot or so between them, the power of the blow stirred the hairs framing her face, but she did not jump. Jet growled bear like above her, his eyes were like black stones dancing under a muddy stream. They were locked on her. "What the hell's the matter with you?" He hovered expectantly, but when silence answered for her, he fell into the chair across from her. He ran his good hand along his jaw and over his mouth, no longer watching her.

The man let out a long slow breath and fixed her with his gaze. "Of all the things for you to go and do, Faye. I never thought you'd do something like this."

She let her vision become unfocused blurring his shape and the slumped form by the main window.

"You're a liar and a cheat." He nodded folding his arms. "And a whole lot of other things. But a cold blooded killer?" Jet's vision bore into the top of her head. "I didn't know you had it in you."

Tanned arms flipped over the side of the couch, palms together and index fingers extended in the shape of a gun. "Faye-Faye's the Raye-Raye!" Ed slithered forward, closed one eye and pivoted over the arm of the couch, aim landing on Ein who dropped his ears and whined as he backed under the coffee table. The girl giggled, growling before singing out her shots, and wincing playfully at the recoil. Ed laughed as she blew the imaginary smoke away from the tops of her fingers. "An assassin extraordinaire!"

"Ed you're not helping." Jet said flatly.

Faye finally lifted her eyes from the spot on the wall. "So what do we do?"

"We?" He laughed sharply. "I can't fix this!"

She nodded. It wasn't a ship. She hadn't brought the Redtail back damaged, low on ammo and out of fuel again. Jet couldn't fuss and give her an invoice for all the hours it had taken him to complete the repairs disguised a present. No, she was not a ship. Besides, her debt was already too high.

Again Jet moved no longer giving her the respect of watching her, the table suddenly a more valuable and interesting individual. Despite the times she had spent teasing him, Faye had never really thought of Jet as old, but in that moment, in the soft glow of the lamp he looked utterly worn, as though the life he'd held had slipped away in the sigh of the heavy shadows that scurried across the room. When he spoke, his voice seemed so frayed, but mostly it seemed tired. "How long?"

"Awhile."

His eyes sparked. "How long Faye?"

That night in the blistering shadows of an evening not to be forgotten, she had disappeared along with the darkness, not even bothering to leave a note, because after all notes where left to people who cared. Then there was the initial days of sleeping in the Redtail, huddled, waking with the sting of cramping muscles as she drifted through the emptiness of space with crumbs and an empty stomach and an even emptier account, before she started to accept odd jobs. She almost came back, once during those first days when the difficulty of loneliness and working on one's own began to pour from her skin, but then the anger returned and with it strength; it was the anger and strength to leave.

"A year and a half. Give or take a couple weeks."

There was no movement. Jet was slumped in the chair, his silence tickling her ears while Spike gazed out the window. Somewhere, Ed was undoubtedly clutching Ein to her chest, eyes wide as she tried to make out the conversation. Something in the muddy furnace of her belly stoked up slow, calling, at the sight of the large man broken, for his voice booming out over her in a shower of animosity. He'd always seemed less of a shock when he was angry.

"Shit." He muttered at last, and then his mouth bobbed open and closed, flapping between the two positions like some sort of fish, like a dying fish. "Goddamn mess." He mumbled rising and then he stomped out the manhole. He would turn her in. It would be his final gift to her.

For a few minutes she thought Spike was going to follow him and leave her in isolation and the insanity of time there, though he simply turned taking a few steps further away and looked out the window. There was a flicker of a memory as she glanced down at her hands clasped together. Above her with his face tight and strained her father appeared and then there was a tuft of colorful confetti behind her eyes and the image was gone. Her voice sounded tiny, strangled out by the remaining hostility that clawed and bit at her skin like fleas. "He's really upset."

"No kidding." Spike huffed, giving her a flat look over his shoulder. It was the one normally reserved for the syndicate.

She stood moving to gaze out the window as they were all prone to do during rough times as though all great thinking must be done while staring out into the abyss. Though now it seemed that the abyss stared back. (1) Belatedly Faye realized that he was no longer watching the stars. Refusing to meet his gaze, she began to pick shapes from the vastness outside.

"I knew." He said.

A breath caught in her throat and the world around her came into sharp relief as time would not continue; the hiccup of the fridge as it came to life and the silvery glint that swept across the window distorting his reflection that loomed in its thin clear prison. It was all so clear, and still. When she turned to him his eyes hardened.

"Don't think you fooled me." He tilted his head forward, chin tucking under as his voice swept over the silence like a wave uprooting trees and houses in its path. "I knew."

"Then why'd you pretend?"

"Why did you?"

Faye pressed her lips into a thin line, rolling them inwards while the question crackled up in her mind, sizzling between her ears like bell peppers and beef. "That's different."

"Is that right?" He lifted the cigarette from his lips and let his hand drop. "And here I thought pretending and lying were the same thing."

Arms folding over her chest, she leaned against the window and a lifted a heel of a boot to press against the glass. "Not really."

"I knew." He said turning back to look out the great window, pausing only briefly before continuing. "I just didn't want it to be true."

Hastily he added. "For your sake." Spike swung back to face her, moving as though to go around her, though he slumped, eyes hardened and level with hers. "You see, you didn't have a past." There was an uncharacteristic pause as he seemed to search for the right words. "And now you don't have a future."

One of her fingers twitched, and then she felt it echoed in her lips. "That's an interesting thought coming from a man that couldn't stop living in the pas-"

"He's regretting it." Spike broke in, a threat that didn't allow questions lingering beneath the words. Though he continued with his uneven eyes still flashing harshly now just inches from her own. "Jet I mean."

Suddenly there was too much hollow space in her chest.

Finally he moved around her, seating himself on the couch she had abandoned moments before and let a hand drape across the back. "I know what happened."

Faye planted her gaze on the door Jet had left through, its iron frame shrinking away like her voice. The world was slow to return to focus, and even slower was her voice, it having been sucked away by some vacuum. "Is that so?" When she glanced back to the window, her pale face was made even more so by the glow of the lamp.

Spike titled his head forward and like a song at a burial, morbidly fascinating, his voice drifted sullenly across the room. It was her eulogy he was singing, she knew, just as clearly as footsteps echoed in a morgue. The verse was shrill, stretching even to the corners of the room blanketed in shadows. "He told me what happened between you two."

"Then you know why I moved on."

"I know that you ran away."

The reaction was instantaneous, as though a rubber band snapped. She turned to him like a predator, eyes almost made luminous in the darkened room. "What?"

Even with her hardened gaze on him, Spike did not appear unnerved; rather he seemed pleased by the way he stretched, placing his feet on the coffee table. Each harsh glare she sent towards him, he met. "Things got the slightest bit difficult and then you left."

"I let go." Faye said thrusting her chin forward for emphasis.

"It hurts doesn't it?" She saw him disappear for a moment as he spoke and knew where it was he had gone. She knew what he saw; what image he could see lifting up from his memories, because she had seen it too, perhaps not the same memory, but she had seen her. There was no doubt what slip of gold flickered through his mind.

Barely audible over the humming silence, her words that followed may have well been chanted through the ship's loudspeaker by Spike's reaction. "It's not the letting go that hurts, it's the holding on."

There was a humorless laugh. "You finally became heartless, huh?"

There wasn't enough left inside her to force a smile, so she tightened her lips. "I earned it."

"Do you feel privileged?"

The abrupt and odd question caught her breath, and she found that it made her sick. Then her forehead crinkled and she knew that he was aware that despite her refusing to look at him, she was listening. "I don't have to answer that."

"The hell you don't!" There was a clomp of shoes on the floor as he snapped to his feet, snatching the paper from the table and shaking it for show. "Tell me why I shouldn't turn you in for the bounty right now."

Disgust was easy to feign. "Don't get all holy on me Spike. You were part of the syndicate."

Four quick steps were all it took for his tall frame to growl down at her. "I never killed for money."

"How admirable." The words suddenly came to her without bidding. "What do you want me to do, turn myself in? They'd kill me."

He shrugged. "I fail to see where that's my problem."

And suddenly she was in a chair at a sidewalk café' where the sun bleared through the umbrella sending swirls of colors across the table cloth. There was the distinct sound of ice shifting against each other, while a breeze tugged at the hairs framing her face. And there were those same brown eyes fixed intently on her.

She couldn't breathe. There wasn't enough air in the room. Each breath slipped from her like the first. It was like snatching at minnow in the pond behind her house and watching them dart away to safety, and each time she'd reach for them, fewer would return. There wasn't any air. Then, in a sudden rush, it flooded into the room. "It's not Jet's either. Besides, what's he going to do, take away my keys and ground me?"

"He wanted to apologize." The paper cackled at her. "That's why him and that girl went looking for you." He was moving again, this time to the hallway, the letter slipping from his fingers like a cigarette he was too lazy to trash.

"Before or after he found out?" She asked tartly.

"Before."

Barely discernable through the shadows just inside the door was Jet Black, large body stooped as he stepped better into the room, Edward shadowing his moves. "It was guilt that came after." He cleared his throat and shifted his weight to a side, then shifted it back.

"We waited." Jet rested his eyes on Ed who now sat with her long legs folded over one another in the center of the room her goggles swinging around her neck, occasionally tapping against her chest as she rocked herself on her heels. The girl nodded back up at Jet and he continued. "You always came back, so we waited. But when you didn't, we started looking, but all we found were rumors, shadows, and then Spike."

Her gaze was on him in a second. Spike was watching Jet with a strange expression that the shadows whispering across his face distorted and she could not quite place the emotion. "And when he did, well time just…before we knew it a month had gone by and then a year and…"

Bitterness was the first to appear, snaking its think head between the cracks and twisting its way to the surface. "How long have you been here?" Everything within her, everything about her from the twitch of her lips and the tilt of her head was focused on the lean form of Spike that now gazed back, lips parted as though he for once had no answer. "How long were you here before you decided to come find me?

He didn't move, just kept those dark eyes focused firmly on her. "Oh." The small word lingered on her lips, slowly falling away as she allowed them the briefest twitch downwards. "That's right. You didn't." She said whisperingly.

The walls were closing in on her, pushing in on the folds of her mind. Faye hadn't the strength to push back. She knew she needed to, had to, because if she couldn't, if she couldn't push back, then it would swallow what was left of her.

To her side, Jet was already beginning to step between them. "Why are you doing this? We deserve that much."

"Do you?"

His sigh roared treacherously. "I know that things got out of hand. Hell this rusted can isn't much, but she's home." One of his large round fingers pointed to the thin bounty hunter that was once again leaning against the wall. "You came back." Then he pointed to Edward, who giggled and bobbed her head, the flat of her palm forcing Ein to nod as well, his ears twitching upwards between her fingers. "You left your dad, you're real home."

And then his finger found its way to her. "You're here too." Before she had a chance to spurt out another icy remark, he waved her silent. "It doesn't matter what brought you back. You're here on this ship." As though she were well aware of the conversation, the Bebop swayed lightly, a low moan issuing from inside the hanger. "That counts for something whether you believe it or not. This isn't really a family, god knows why we're all stuck here together, but we are."

"Family?" Glancing away, in a not quite rolling of her eyes, Faye laughed. "That's just an idea, Jet, and everyone falls in love with ideas."

"Maybe." He said. "But ideas are what start everything."

From his place on the wall, Spike shook his head lightly. "Why do you act like you have all the answers?"

"Because someone has to be the adult around here." It was quiet at first, the low rumbling almost the same as the drone of the refrigerator, and then it deepened, the chuckle within Jet's throat fizzing over like as he let his head drop. "Can't even trust you two with that." There was a hitch of breath and then Spike's voice began to rise and fall along with Jet's.

They were mad.

They were mad, or she was. She knew they were all mad not half it was always the entire way with them, this ship, this home, this houseful of crazies, all mad and gone. Someone could put them in place with a large iron gate like the one her house had out front to keep the crazies away, but it would keep them in. It would be tall and black and there would be brass angels molded out from it, like the ones in cathedral stained glass windows, tragic and serene.

They needed someone to come and guide them to their rooms with large blearing white walls, and very gently tell them it was time for bed so that they would not start into lists of tears, because they were all really just puffs. They needed someone to run ahead of them and slide furniture and coke bottles and shoes and anything out of their way that had edges even if they weren't as sharp as glass. Since they could not leave they would be forced to write letters to those that they knew, except that they couldn't, since they weren't allowed anything sharp to write with.

They were mad. They were all mad and locked inside some ship, some home, some old gate except it had fish molded on it instead of angels, and that was just silly because the Bebop did not have fish, and this made her laugh. They were mad.

"Alright." Between his chuckles, Jet managed to cough out the words, and quite suddenly everyone was silent. "I may have a plan."

"A plan! A plan!" Ed chanted from the floor, flopping her feet on the floor to the rhythm of her voice. "A p-l-a-n plan!"

There was suddenly a plea in the older man's eyes. "Does anyone else besides us know?"

"That note came here." Spike said as though to remind the room of his presence.

"Who sent the note?"

Faye shook her head, "Giles." As though the motion would shake her memories back into place. "That's all I know him as."

Turning to the child at his feet, Jet asked. "Can you find out anything else?"

"Roger!" And the girl was to her feet, hands outstretched like a plane as ducked behind the couch and the click of keys began. "Giles, Giles, lots of files!"

"He's not our top priority. I don't think he'd turn you in if there's any risk of incriminating himself." Then, as though it had been a decision requiring much effort, he nodded swiftly. "I'm going to call in a favor. We're going to be on duty."

Spike was suddenly in the center of the room. "Lilan and Ostin?" When no one spoke, he turned to Faye and grinned as though he were the child that had finally found the legendary needle in a haystack. "That was you at Lilan and Ostin?"

She had barely nodded when Jet raised a hand and pointed between the two. "Then that's where we're going to start." And then without ceremony he spun on heel and went back through the large steel door.

"_I'm sure I'm troubling a lot of different people."_

The clatter of fingers on keys and the occasional rhyme from Edward held off the encroaching silence, though Spike would only meet her eyes briefly, before he too began down the hall.

"_I will always be cheering you on."_

They would help her anyways, and she had failed them. It was like finding that video and seeing that girl, knowing that somehow, with all her hopes and dreams about life, with all the pieces she was, she had failed her.

"_Don't lose, don't lose! Me, me, me!"_

Sorry girl, there's no doctor here just a shell of a woman of who she could have been. Jet. Spike. Ed. She had failed them too, and that's what left her empty. She turned back to the window and this time she knew the abyss was staring back.

"_Cheering for you, my only self."_

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1) Okay so I'm a Silent Hill fan. I didn't even realize I had wrote about the abyss until I was doing a reread and then I just had to point that out. The actual line I'm referring to is:

He who is not bold enough to be stared at from across the abyss is not bold enough to

stare into it himself.

2) A wolf passing by saw some shepherds in a hut eating a haunch of mutton for their dinner. Approaching them, he said, "What a clamor you would raise if I were to do as you are doing!"

A cookie to anyone that can find the connection.

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**Author's Notes: **I have little to say for my absence, which is of course a lie. I had meant to do so much writing over the summer, but this was probably the worst summer, including the worst birthday ever. My grandfather was in the hospital, and then I was, and now that everyone is fine and dandy and I've gone off to school I do not have the internet. After waiting patiently cough yeahright cough I finally got the internet and after having it for a mere night, my computer got a virus and keeled over. So it's difficult to type things up or post new chapters.

All of that said, my alter ego has run off finally and is currently working on Final Fantasy stories at the moment. This author's note has gone on far too long. My humble thanks go out to all of those three or four people that may still be waiting. God how I've missed working on this.


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